Sia, Syrio, and Graduating from Puss School

Finally allowed myself a moment to let loose. This is how every race finish should feel!

Inspiration comes from the strangest places.  For Ironman 70.3 Silverman, mine came during an Asian press tour last month, at the training low-point of my summer.  It just goes to show that there is generally something positive to take from any seemingly negative situation.

Several other game developers joined me on the press tour. One in particular stood out, the creators of Rock Band and Guitar Hero, the mega-hit music-based rhythm games from a few years back. This time, the studio representatives were showing off Dance Central to eager fans and media in three countries. Which meant I heard the same demo song multiple times a day for about a week. Which also means my sanity hinged on that song being catchy. Not only was it, but the lyrics became my unintentional training anthem -- echoing throughout a challenging day at Ironman 70.3 Silverman.

The song: Titanium, the David Guetta/Sia collaboration.

I don't particularly like admitting how much I like that song. I may play it on repeat a few times a week. Don't tell. But the lyrics appealed to me when I was going through a confidence and motivational crisis. 

"I'm bulletproof...nothing to lose. Fire away! Fire away!"

"Shoot me down...I won't fall! I am Titanium!"

I promised to myself well before this weekend that, no matter what happened on that course, no matter how painful it might get, no matter how unprepared I may have felt, I would be indestructible. Titanium. Bulletproof.

Yes, I'm cheesy. But...these messages on a bottle work. Thank you, Chrissie Wellington!

And I was. I've done a lot of racing since I became serious about triathlon in 2010. This is the race I'm proudest of. Physically, it wasn't my best performance. But mentally, I broke new ground. I dealt with a wicked whack-a-mole game of cramps in both legs for the entire half-marathon. Literally from the first mile onward. I seized up completely at least five times, twice in front of teammates as they ran by on the other side of the cones, prompting one of them to tell me how terrible I looked! I couldn't breathe fully on the run either, my asthma acted up for the first time in a triathlon and causing me to spew some nasty neon-colored phlegm.

"Keep Your Chin Up..."

Which brings me to another unlikely inspirational source. During my Asian odyssey, I watched a lot of Game of Thrones during flights. One particular character decided to pay a mental visit to me during the run. His name was Syrio, macho sword-fighting teacher to Arya Stark in the first season.  I loved when he'd tell her, "What do we tell the God of Death?

"Not today. Not today. ..."

I repeated that in my head as both adductors strained during the first mile of the run...and then I smiled. For the first time in five years of racing, I finally, truly, wholly and completely understood, smiling when faced with a situation that normally might have knocked me off my game. I always nodded politely when my triathlon mentors such as Gary Michelson and Jason McFaul would tell me that's the key to breakthrough performances -- literally looking forward to the pain. I always thought I knew what that meant and was ready to accept the challenge, but then when the moment arrived for real in a race, I'd wilt. Last year, at Ironman 70.3 Boise, I was 15th in my age group coming off the bike and started the run strong. A mile in, my legs twitched, I winced, my legs locked, I buckled...and quit. I walked 9 miles and walk-jogged four, drinking a beer at one point. The pain won. I went to the edge in Boise, but turned back at the critical moment. At Ironman Lake Tahoe last year, my sense of fight vanished completely during the marathon and I actually had a conversation with an aid station captain at mile 15 about DNF protocol before rallying to finish.

Not. Today.

And that is why I had a good race at Silverman, even though I was 11 minutes slower on nearly the same course as when I raced the world championships there last year. 

<Pause> Now, a brief word about the Ironman 70.3 Silverman course. There is a lot of talk going 'round about how hard a day it was. To be clear, Silverman is a tough course -- or as my Wattie Ink teammate Dusty likes to say, a slow course. But everyone who signs up for the race should know it's a tough course (except my dear friend Kevin, who signed up, didn't train at all and still almost finished within the final cut-off). If you were mentally prepared to suffer, to welcome the pain and smile at the true crossroads between a good race and a bad one, then chances are you were proud of your performance. For the record, here's what I think contributed to at least my slower year-to-year finish time (not speaking for everyone else here):

1) Lack of heat acclimation and training (my fault, and controllable)

2) Wind kicking up dust and triggering an asthma attack (out of my control)

3) Long, steady headwind from the bike turnaround back out of Lake Mead (out of my control)

My goofball friend, Kevin. He shows up with ZERO training (again), makes the swim and bike cutoffs and almost finishes the 13.1 miles in time. Race officials gave him a finisher's medal and hat when he crossed the line, which was nice.

That's not the full race day picture though. What enabled me to smile at Pain in the first place, I think, was recognizing early in the race that I needed to adjust my expectations (a controllable outcome). My first indication that my race plan needed to change was when I drank an entire 16oz bottle of honey water within the first 40 minutes on the bike. I usually only drink a 16oz bottle over 1.5 hours. Yet I still wasn't sweating.  Instead of panicking, I readjusted my intake strategy, making sure to hit each aid station for extra bottles of water and Perform, and a banana or gel. I'd toss my old bottles first after emptying any extra water onto my body to stay cool. Even with all that, I still wasn't sweating normally, but I knew I was hydrated because I was able to pee on the bike twice. (Yes, while moving, I know...gross!) In hindsight, the only thing I'd change about my ride is switching to a road aero helmet from my Kask Bambino and removing the wind visor. I may have overcooked my noggin a bit in the heat and wind. I actually had to remove the wind visor a few times to let the breeze cool my face.

So there you have it. Ironman 70.3 Silverman wasn't really about my finish time, or my placement. (Though I'm pleased with the 5:26 and 22nd in my age group out of 251.) It's my third-best overall half-Ironman placement, percentage-wise. No, this race signified that I turned the tassel on something much more important and valuable. I finally graduated from Puss School. Annual enrollment: one.  Graduation rate: 100 percent.  My thesis was about proving that Pain is a suggestion, but not a mandate. It can be overcome through willpower, a smile...and knocking the God of Death on his bony ass.

I would like to thank my Coach, Gerardo Barrios, my Fortius Coaching teammates, my Wattie Ink teammates, and the unsung heroic supporters of both teams all over the course. Staying positive was a LOT easier with all that energy and encouragement. I almost forgot to mention Gerry Rodrigues and Tower26, which has recently played a big role in my swimming lately. Gerry has made getting up at 5 a.m. FUN. That's hard to do. I'd also like to thank the Wattie Ink team sponsors that helped fuel my day: ISM saddles, Herbalife 24, Powerbar, and Reynolds Wheels. I'd also like to thank Sarah at CycleHouse in LA. I never thought spin classes might benefit my training, but I'm confident they played a role.  Above all else, I'd like to thank my wife Stephanie, for understanding how I'm a better ME because of all the lessons I've learned from this crazy sport. And how one day, I promise I'll be passing those lessons on to our children. 

A few days of celebration and reflection have passed. Now, we train for Ironman Arizona. Less than 40 days away.

Cramping. Right. There. In the finish chute. That's also how my face looked for most of the run when I wasn't encouraging other people.

My coached team, Fortius, won the Division 4 team championship. Huzzah!

My buddy Patrick is rockin' a Captain Qwark shirt from Ratchet & Clank, our best-known PlayStation title. Patrick came into the sport a few years ago and is now an All World Athlete. Super proud of him. He's a great dude.

Shutting Out the Noise

I took this today just after sunrise near Santa Monica Pier on an easy recovery ride. My brain will look like this on Sunday. 

First off, an apology. I said I'd write more often and now it's been almost three weeks since my last post. The only thing I can say is I've never been busier with work, writing, training and a little trick up my sleeve that may one day see the light of day. But we're here now, in the final few days before Ironman 70.3 Silverman. And these are my thoughts going into my first race since June 1.

It's noisy in my head. 

The clanging of data is loudest.  I have new power numbers on the bike thanks to a blood lactate threshold test I took on Tuesday. And a rough cycling race plan based on a math and physics-based app called BestBikeSplit.com (not to mention my coach's good advice).  Then there's the banging of guilt I feel about racing the weekend of Yom Kippur -- the holiest time of the Jewish year. Though I suppose it's a good sign I picked the one race that sounds like it's named after a Jewish congregant -- Silverman -- to do it. And of course, there's always the shouting of expectations. They're all of my own making, of course. It's not like anybody else is watching this stuff with a laptop and a stopwatch. Or are they? Paranoia is one of my strongsuits too. Finally, the demon voices whisper: "You took too much time off this summer. You're not ready for this race. You need more time.  It's going to be hot out there. Your friends are catching up to you. You're going to be the slowest Wattie Ink athlete on the course, and you're no longer the fastest Fortius athlete. And you're so sore right now. That massage last night was too hard. That LT test was too demanding. Why did you do that during a taper??? You're not recovered enough.  You will fail."

I'm waving all those emotions on, in one giant "bring it on" gesture with my hands. Feed me the fear. Heap on the doubt. Dish it to me.

I drive to the desert tomorrow, alone. I'm going to pick Steph up at the airport in Vegas later in the day. I have a lot to think about. Many voices to quiet in my head, as you can see. But I will. I've been here before. I've made friends with these voices. I know they can be turned on and off, like a switch. I know what it takes to perform well. I know you can't fake belief or excitement or optimism. Either you're ready to blow your guts out in a race, or you're not. I may not be in the shape I usually am in this time of year, but that just means I'll make it hurt more to finish where I usually do. The one thing I can share about my blood lactate test -- I'll be writing a full column on it for Lava Magazine Online -- is that it's clear in my results that my data is nothing special. I race well because, as Coach Gareth Thomas said, "I'm willing to suffer."

So tomorrow, I quiet my mind on a quiet drive to Sin City. I will prepare mentally for what's most important, Yom Kippur. The Day of Atonement, which a clever rabbi once figured out could be spelled as At-One-Ment. The coming together of the self.

I am fractured right now. The voices have free reign, and it's chaos in there. I'm physically sore, I'm a tad stressed out and I haven't even started packing for the trip. But that's OK. The Day of At-One-Ment is coming. And I will become whole. And I will be ready for Sunday. And I'm going to kick a lot of ass.

No matter what the data is telling me. Oh, and those voices? They'll be long gone by then.

Mali-Boo Hoo

Where I won't be this Saturday...

I met with my coach, Gerardo, after work tonight to talk about the next eight weeks of training heading into Ironman Arizona.  After what was supposed to be an "easy" three hour ride became a struggle to finish yesterday on sore, jet-lagged legs, I knew I needed to slow down, take a step back, and reassess my "real" fitness and race readiness. My mind was telling me "Hell yes!" But my body was telling me... "Quit dreamin', kid." Together, Gerardo and I decided that racing at Malibu this Saturday was not a wise choice if I was seeking a top five podium finish.

Our thinking was that my immune system is weakened due to all the air travel, and my wife is sick with a fever and sinus infection, staying home the past few days. I was her man servant caretaker yesterday, in fact.  At Malibu, I'd go all-out at the race and be incapable of holding back, which would further tax me.  I've got Ironman 70.3 Silverman in Las Vegas in a couple weeks, which is more important to me, and is a better lead-in to Ironman Arizona in November. I could make better use of this weekend with a long base-building ride.  The logic is too great to ignore, much as I love racing.

Shockingly, I'm totally OK with this decision. Deep down, I knew it was the right one even before I set foot into G's house.  Plus, I've already achieved my main goal for the season -- Age-Group All-American status -- and this race won't affect that one way or the other.  My secondary goal was to attain Ironman All-World Athlete "gold" status this season. I need three Ironman-branded races to do it, and I've got one in the books (Oceanside, in March).  So Silverman and IMAZ are therefore higher on the priority list.

So, I flushed a couple hundred bucks down the drain for Malibu -- a race I always look forward to.  The scenery, the chaos, the pancakes at Coogies in Malibu Creek afterwards.  But I think it was a smarter choice for the long haul. Disagree with me? I'd love to hear why. I'm always open for a debate.

Tour of Asia Recap

After 20,000 miles of flying in nine days, three countries visited in five days, six stage presentations, dozens of press demos and even signing a few autographs...I'm home.

To celebrate, I woke up early for a morning spin at Cycle House LA and an hour easy run after. Steph is sick, so I went to the Farmer's Market next door to pick up some berries and a smoothie to help her recover. Of course, in true Stephanie fashion, she wants to rally today but I'm hoping she'll rest up. And I'm not-so-secretly trying to stay home anyways. As you can imagine, I've had enough of moving about from place to place, literally living out of my suitcase.

View from the stage in Taiwan, where we held a press conference and fan demo for 600 eager Xbox aficionados.

The trip itself was a huge success.  Many people in each market we visited hadn't heard much about Sunset Overdrive.  That changed in our favor, as several fans at each tour stop told me they were pre-ordering the game. And the press were unexpectedly animated and complimentary about the game.

"The Ferrari 430 Spider. If you have the means...I highly suggest picking one up."

Of course, the highlight of the press trip had nothing to do with media meetings.  Instead, it had everything to do with driving a Ferrari 430 Spider on the Singapore F1 Grand Prix circuit. Even if I drove...conservatively.  After all, it was my first time driving on the "wrong" side of the street, and with the steering wheel on the Western "passenger side" of the car. Still, I gunned it a few times, enough to feel the Ferarri's power and acceleration speed. We also went indoor skydiving at the world's second largest indoor skydiving venue.

Training-wise, I probably maintained or slightly lost some fitness.  In between all the travel, I squeezed in just over six hours of workouts. The heat and humidity in Singapore provided a real physical and mental challenge to overcome, but I'm glad I had the opportunity to run on the SAFRA Singapore Half Marathon course after the sold-out race ended.  The Army was still cleaning up the course and all the aid stations still contained buckets of ice, which I liberally used to try and stay cool.  The soldiers were cool and even cheered me on a bit as I ran alone in what amounted to 97-degree heat.  The week's fitness highlight though was running up to the Seoul Tower in Korea with Beeoh Kim, a Fortius Racing teammate and well-known Korean pro triathlete.  We caught up a lot about living in Korea, which sounds pressure-packed at times -- especially for women.  It's a culture driven by an obsession with perfection or success, punctuated by women feeling a need or desire to keep up through plastic surgery.  

Me and my buddy Beeoh. The taxi ride after he and I dined was priceless. The cab driver didn't speak English, but tried admirably by making lists of things Korea is known for. One example, "Chevrolet 1! Toyota 2! Hyundai 3! Kia 4!"

In thinking about the trip, I came away with a number of impressions about life in Asia...and a few training insights too.

• Outside of needing cash to get from the airport in Singapore to the hotel at 3 a.m., I could use credit cards wherever I traveled. We indeed live in a paperless cash world -- though if you have Visa in Singapore you're out of luck for a taxi. MasterCard and AMEX only.
• Singapore, and to lesser extents Seoul and Taipei, are remarkably Western.  You can even get a Baja Fresh burrito in Singapore, while we can eat the best dumplings around Singapore, Din Tai Fung, in Los Angeles. Though it's harder to travel in Seoul with no Korean language skills, you can get by with English-only. Especially in Itaewon, the more modern, hip district in Seoul near the US military base. (BTW, Vatos Tacos is NOT to be missed if you visit there.)
• If you ever have the opportunity to fly Singapore Airlines business class, I can't say enough good things about the experience. Despite six different flights in nine days, I always looked forward to getting on another Singapore Airlines plane. And Thai Airways' economy class was a pleasant surprise -- far better than any domestic carrier.
• Singapore features the most modern architecture I've seen outside of Melbourne.  I felt like I was on the set of Star Wars.  
• Seoul seems like it's in the middle of a struggle between modern and traditional.  Beautiful skyscrapers pierce the sky amidst an jigsaw puzzle of concrete apartment buildings. And it has the worst traffic I've ever encountered -- worse than New York City, Mexico City and Los Angeles.
• I talked with a couple Taiwanese folks who said the biggest misconception Americans have of their citizens is that "we all eat dogs." In truth, I saw pet dogs everywhere in the city. They are treated with love and respect just like we do here. What a sad thing for people to have to clarify.
• When I travel for international business in the future, I'll do a better job of checking in advance for local races. I missed an opportunity to run a half-marathon that would have been awesome.
• If you travel to Seoul, the Grand Hyatt is amazing...with a solid gym and an indoor 25 meter pool.
• In Taipei, the W Hotel is a must.  Outstanding across the board, and a 25 meter outdoor pool to squeeze those swim sessions in.
• Taipei is the home to Giant bicycles. Apparently, it's quite easy to rent a road bike in the city and there's plenty of places to ride. 

Outside of Hyundai and Kia, PSY is Korea's biggest export. There's a giant "Gangnam Style" sign at the Gangnam train station where tourists like me could take photos.

That's my hotel, the Marina Bay Sands, in the background in...Coruscant...err Singapore.

This week, I'll be refocusing my training and hope to race the Malibu Triathlon this Saturday -- if I don't get sick for a third time after international travel. I have no business racing given my physical conditioning at the moment. But I have a belief that I can still perform at a high level.  We'll see how far belief and attitude can carry me.

AsiaFest Travel, Day 1

The view from breakfast in Singapore this morning, or is it dinner...my body clock has no idea at the moment...

One of the reasons I've been able to improve rather substantially the past few seasons of triathlon racing is because of a consistent training schedule.  I could almost always count on a steady two hours Monday through Friday, with a training day either on Saturday or Sunday. All the workouts added up, I got faster, times improved, and I found myself competing for age group podiums on occasion.

This year, specifically this summer, has been very different. June and July brought a vacation to Bali, a convention in San Diego, and bronchitis along with it. August brought a huge gaming convention called Gamescom, in Germany, and my reward for that trip was a second bout with bronchitis.  I've missed close to a full week of training to illness and almost two weeks to business travel.

Now, it's Saturday at 10 a.m....in Singapore. Here I begin a whirlwind tour taking me eventually to Seoul and Taipei to promote Sunset Overdrive, our game studio's Xbox One exclusive coming out this October.  If I'm lucky, I'll fit in roughly five training sessions over the nine days I'm gone. The optimist in me wants to focus on the quality Ironman Arizona prep workouts I'll manage despite a challenging schedule that includes 20,000 air miles.  The pessimist fights back hard, reminding me that's four lost opportunities, four lost chances to reach my goal of breaking 10 hours at IMAZ in November, let alone a sub-5 hour finish at Ironman 70.3 Silverman in a few weeks.

I suppose all I can do is my best, which will be begin immediately after this post. One workout at a time. I've only been off the plane six hours after my 18 hour odyssey. But don't feel bad for me.  I flew Singapore Airlines business class.

Sure, I'll try the duck foie gras starter, but I can't quite choose between the Italian chianti or the French Bordeaux, so let's go with both.

I finally understand how folks like the President of the United States can look like they haven't missed a beat after a grueling travel day.  

Singapore Airlines is the best I've ever flown.  Huge seats. Amazing food. Courteous and helpful flight attendants.  And the flights across the ocean were largely empty on the expansive A-380, which featured an all-business class upper deck. 

Since arriving, I've tried to find a 10k or half-marathon to race. I came close, but the half marathon that begins tomorrow is reserved primarily for members of the Singapore Armed Forces, and the 10k that begins this afternoon (huh?) is about 25 minutes away and there are no age-group prizes. Meh. I'm going to run near the site of the Singapore Grand Prix on a beautiful garden path. Will share more with my next update.

I should get some nice swim yardage in here, I think. Plus, good sighting chances to not go over the edge haha!

Ironman training isn't glamorous. It's not always fun. But it certainly can be exotic.

Ship It, Dammit!

It's been almost five years...time for a new website design!

Publishing a new blog site, in some ways, is like preparing for a major race.  You map out your goals. You may hire someone to help you realize your vision.  You encounter numerous obstacles, some more serious than others. As your launch date approaches, the changes you make get smaller and smaller. Until finally, there's just one thing left to do...hit the LAUNCH button and hope for the best.

One big difference though is that when it's your own personal project and there's no countdown clock involved, intentions evaporate into wishes and vague promises that sound like, "Yeah, I should get to that." You ignore enough of those in triathlon training and when race day does show up...well, you know what happens.

I've procrastinated reformatting my blog site for way too long. As in the better part of 2014.  And I stopped blogging daily a long time ago. Too much work, too much training, too many new opportunities with Lava and Ironman.com. All excuses. Good and valid ones, in fact. But excuses nonetheless.

If you want something bad enough, you don't need a deadline to motivate you. 

Welcome to the revamped Ironmadman.com. A place where I hope to include new content on a daily basis, even if it's me asking for YOUR submissions to make this site even better.

More to come!