Rest Required

I participated in the eating of a full, three-week old pig at a Culver City restaurant last night. Though I'm not sure what was more disturbing: Eating the different parts of the intact beast or how tired I was by 10 p.m. after a beer and a glass of wine.

This sport saps the life out of me sometimes.  There are certain moments where my body just seems to shut down and go into the equivalent of "hibernation" mode on a computer.  Like right in the middle of a dinner.  This sucks, because it's not like I go out all often with my training schedule.  When I do, expect to be able to stay awake and rally.

By the time I got home at midnight, the last thing I could think about doing was blogging. Though I did consider it, staring at my laptop, which peered back at me with its single battery light blinking back at me.

I felt guilty for not writing.  I felt guilty for not being able to quite keep up with my friends at the dinner.

Triathlon makes me physically healthier, but sometimes with a sacrifice that's too great to make.  And yet with another month of peak training, this is what I must get used to: Rise, train, race to work, work, race to train, train, quality time with Stephanie, blog, sleep.

Where's the room for friends?  Where's the room for socializing?

The kicker is that today's an off-day from training.  And instead of going out tonight, all I can think about is a quiet night at home.  Just me and the DVR.

I ask my body to do a lot.  Right now, my body is asking for return favors.  Rest.

Deal.

51 days and counting.

Underdog!

I tried to write last night but internet access was down in my condo. A rather ironic scenario played out at home that I have to share.  It started with my recent post about my Muse mantra, "John" commented and asked if I had a "short man's complex."  I thought about that for a while before responding.  There was a time where the answer would have certainly been "yes."  I used to practice martial arts for a period of years in my mid-20s, primarily because I think deep-down I wanted to prove to other people that I was tough enough.  That I wasn't just a little shit, I could defend myself.

Somewhere closer to my 30th birthday, I realized that I didn't need to prove anything to anybody.  And triathlon has taught me all that matters is proving something to yourself.

That said, I would admit I have a lion-sized underdog complex.  David vs Goliath.  Rudy walking on to play football for Notre Dame.  Cinderella Man.  The kind of complex where my fuel grows with other people's doubts whether it's about my ability or the severity of a particular challenge.

So what's the difference between an underdog complex and short man's complex? Semantics?  Not to me.  I think it has everything to do with confidence.  The former is about challenges.  The latter is about insecurities.  I've pushed myself to my physical and mental limits (with more to go) in this sport, and I know what I'm capable of.  Confidence allows me to shrug off jokes or jibes about height, skill or appearance.

All that said, I wound up last night with what can only be described as a moment of karmic, comic irony.  Both fire smoke detectors in my condo started chirping late in the evening, reminding me that it was time to replace the batteries.  Problem is that they're obviously on the ceiling.  And I had no new batteries in the house.

Oh, and even if I did have batteries, there's no ladder in the house either.

There I was, perched atop the leather reclining chair in my office, a step-stool stacked on top of the seat.  Stephanie guarding my legs so the chair didn't spin around and knock me off.  Standing on my toes, reaching for the detector units.

Short man's complex indeed!

And yes, I did fix the problem. I ripped both detectors from the ceiling.   Now, only dangling wires remain.

Short man's complex...sheesh!

52 days and counting.

My Muse Mantra

They cannot force us. They must stop degrading us.

They will not control us.

We will be victorious!

These are lyrics from a Muse song called Uprising.  I listened to them for about an hour straight tonight while on the treadmill.  I played this song over and over...and over again on my new iPhone (which I LOVE, btw).

I know the words have nothing to do with triathlon. But they have everything to do with me right now as I am immersed in the peak phase of Ironman Arizona training.  "They" doesn't matter.  It's not like someone is out to stop me from training hard.  Or preventing me from doing my best.  And if there is, that person is only me.

No, I think in this instance, "they" refers to things beyond my control going into the big day.  Weather. Time.  Mechanical troubles.  Other racers.  That's at least what I pictured in my head while mindlessly cranking out the required 20 minutes in zone three sandwiched between two 20-minute light recovery jogs.

None of those potential negatives will bother me on race day.  This is my new mantra for the next few weeks.

"They" will not force me to succumb to the elements.

Others' actions (or inactions) will not control me.

I will be victorious.

53 days and counting.

Where I've Been

Saturday: Baptism (not mine), Wall Street movie with Stephanie's family (family great, avoid the movie), dinner with the Van Schaik clan after in Costa Mesa. Sunday: Biked 97 miles with Frank and Caleb, from Malibu to Moorpark and back. Swam almost two miles after that.  Rushed home, changed clothes, took Steph out for a surprise dinner at Cicada Club in downtown LA followed by another surprise, Muse floor seats!

Just got home from this whirlwind of a day.  So much more I could say about the entire day.  Too drained physically and emotionally to even try. Highlights are easy though.  Caleb made me feel like I'm halfway decent at triathlon by complimenting my cycling.  Steph looked at me tonight like I'm king of the world. Well, at least her world. Muse simply rocked my entire core.  To the point I stood for two hours after my day of training and didn't mind that much.  Truly one of the best live performances I've ever seen.  Dare I say even better than a U2 concert?

Days like today just don't get much better.  Honestly, one of the better days of my life.

54 days and counting.

iTrain

First things first. Yes, I fixed a flat last night. Mostly.

I struggled and klutzed around for around 24 minutes.  My technique was poor and clumsy, but ultimately I did take out one tube and insert another while putting on the tire without using tire irons.  I am proud of myself for that.  Unfortunately, I couldn't inflate the tire though.  My air pump is in the car that currently sits at my dad's auto repair shop.  I used a CO2 cartridge but that didn't take b/c I think the valve stem isn't protruding through the wheel enough.  I may have to insert another tube with a deeper stem.  Either way, I'm eager to see on Sunday morning if I correctly fixed the flat.  Even if I'm slow, I know I can continue to improve over the next several weeks with practice.

I know I can't get much worse!  Or can I?

Now, onto this morning's workout.  Sort of.

Yeah, sure, I ran almost 15 miles this morning on the smelly, hilly trails of Griffith Park.  But really, who cares about that.

My iPhone 4 is here, ready and operational!

I've spent the greater part of the summer and now fall with a pay-as-you-go T-mobile phone.  Is there such a thing as a functional piece of junk?  I've now officially joined the 21st century!  I can be like the cool kids once and for all!  I look forward to walking around as nothing but a silhouette with neon colors all around me as I bop and rock to my favorite hipster tunes.  Star Wars lightsaber app, here I come!  Fart noise app?  Yep, sign me up!  Training Peaks and any other number of triathlon-related apps, OMG I can't wait!

I haven't been this excited about racing as I have been about getting my iPhone.  I'm practically jumping for joy.  Except my legs wont' allow it after all that climbing this morning.

Back to this morning for a moment.  Running with my buddy Joe truly turned what could have been another mental slog into a joyful, fun experience.  We chatted for the first 1.5 hours of my 2.25-hour run.  We covered off on nutrition, race strategy, training schedules, lessons learned and all the other things that can occupy a triathletes mind.  Joe is going through some of the same things I did earlier in the year, so I hope I can be a good resource for him as he continues to grow as a triathlete.  After puttering along with me, Joe then took off for an hour of tempo work .  I still had another 45 minutes of solo hills work.  I didn't mind at all though, as just having someone to keep me company for a little while completely transformed my mental outlook.  Plus, I changed my normal route to include some trails I hadn't run since this past spring.  Felt good to shake things up a bit.  And that's coming from a creature of habit.

This Sunday, I'll have even more great company on my bike ride.  Frank will be joining me, as usual.  He's been a huge help this entire year whether he knows it or not.  Not sure where I'd be without him.  But Caleb is also going to join me.  Just to lend his support as well.  Caleb's Ironman is done this year, so he's literally coming out to help push me along.  He's been consistently reading the blog and commenting for the better part of the last six months.  If there's been any one new friend I've made through this sport that's helped me the most with perspective and inspiration, it's been Caleb.  Yes, athletes such as Coach Gerardo have helped me immeasurably to become a better triathlete.  And my Fortius friends have pushed me to be my best while enjoying the journey.  But Caleb, as a pro triathlete and all-around great guy, has helped me comprehend and accept that what I'm going through is totally normal -- even the best of the pros go through the cycle of fatigue, burnout, exhaustion, etc.  Without that knowledge and support -- knowing that I'm not some wussy whiner who can't hack it all the time -- maybe I would have succumbed to the fatigue instead of powering through it.  That's simply priceless.

I thought getting to my first Ironman would mostly be a solo journey. It would be me against the elements and my own body.

How wrong I was.

Without the support of others -- coaches, athletes, friends and family -- I wouldn't come close to Ironman Arizona.

And now, one very special little phone device with a million little apps that are waiting to be downloaded.

56 days and counting.

Flat But Functional

I'm procrastinating. In my office that serves as a bike garage (c'mon, you do it too!), there sits my tri bike.  She's got a flat front tire.  It will probably take me 30 minutes to change it, considering I haven't had a flat in a few months and I'm terribly slow when it comes to repairs.

While I may be physically tired from all the training, I am confident I will perform well in Arizona. I know the training will pay off.  What I don't know is how I'll respond if my bike has mechanical issues.  Actually, I do know that.  I'll respond poorly!

From here until Ironman, I need to force myself to change flats on my tri bike.  It could be the difference between a good race and a great one, or something far worse.

There may be a follow-up post tomorrow morning about my tube-changing adventure.

Fortunately, my patience is high after a great time-trial swim (1,500 yards, my longest pool TT yet) and a soothing lunchtime yoga session.  Today's training schedule was relatively light and the highlight -- besides my 1:40-1:48 T-pace (depending on how well I counted laps) -- was being able to leave work at 6:30 p.m. without thinking about another evening workout.  That's where I'm at in my training.  If I can grab free time that doesn't involve triathlon training, I'm happy.  It's so ironic that we do this for fun and yet sometimes it's the last thing we want to think or talk about.

Isn't this supposed to be a hobby!?

Anyways, since I felt smooth and efficient in the water despite my fatigue, it boosted my confidence for the remainder of the week.  I thought swimming 60 laps in the pool in one set would just be mental torture, but it wasn't too bad.  I broke it up mentally into 15x100 sets, which made the slog much more tolerable.  When it was all over, I was surprised I had room left for much more swimming.

That's how I know I'm getting in much better shape.  It takes a lot more to tire me out in one workout.  It's the cumulative effect I can't do much about.  That's why I'm having to be awakened by an alarm clock even with 8-9 hours sleep.

Tomorrow, it's time to revisit good ol' Griffith Park for 2.25 hours of trail running. Fortunately, I'll have my Fortius buddy Joe to keep me company.  He's faster than me so hopefully I'll be able to keep up, though the goal tomorrow is to keep my heart-rate in zones 1-3.  Easier said than done when I'm trying to catch a rabbit.

And so it goes. Another day of two-hour workouts down.  Another day of two-hour workouts to go.

And now, it's time to fix a flat tire.

I just realized that metaphorically speaking, I am that flat tire right now.  I can barely function in my current state.  I could use a little inflation.  I need to put in the extra time to get right, so to speak.

Heh, hopefully I'll be pumped tomorrow!

57 days and counting.

I'm Audi Here!

I have little energy to write a full post today.  Once again, I'm totally wiped out and it's not even 10 p.m.  It's not like my brick workout at Griffith Park was even that tough today.  We did just shy of an hour with some moderate climbing and around 40 minutes of light zone 3 running.  Of course, the operative word here is "we" as I got to enjoy my first group workout in what seems like weeks.  I'm starting to go a little batty spending all this training time by myself. Breaking it up with light conversation is extremely helpful this late in the season.  Anything to break up the tedium.

The real highlight of my day was getting the keys to a new 2011 Audi A8 sedan as part of a work-related make-good for something I did earlier in the year.  This Audi is like the auto equivalent of my Garmin watch.  Buttons everywhere.  More features than I know what to do with.  Seriously.  It's overwhelming.  But, if I could strut in a car, that's what I looked like traveling to and from the brick workout.  Damn, I feel like a badass in this thing!  And I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Tomorrow I've got a 1,500 swimming time trial.  That's 60 laps in the pool.  Boy, I can't wait for that!

Sorry this post sucks.  I'm just too tired to care right now.  I'll be better tomorrow.

58 days and counting.

Rally Time!

It's 6:45 p.m.  I'm still at work.  I've got a swim at 7:30 p.m. and then I need to drive to Simi Valley to switch cars once again for a smog check.  I won't be home until 10-10:30 p.m. tonight. I'm tired!

I've slept plenty the past few nights, but I'm a little wiped out right now to be honest.  Last night, I could have fallen asleep at 9:30.  And the past two nights, my alarm woke me up out of a deep sleep, which never used to happen.

Welcome to Ironman peak training.

Fortunately, I'm getting great notes of encouragement from fellow triathletes and friends such as Derek, Liana, Anton and Caleb.  I'll take every bit of energy and support I can get right now as the training hours continue to mount, along with my fatigue. Luckily, through these notes I'm reinforcing that everything I'm going through is normal.  It's OK to feel tired.  It's OK not to want to work out.

But I must continue.  Like I did this morning, when it was cloudy and chilly at Griffith Park.  There, alone, I found myself lapping back and forth on the bike path once again for another 45-minute time zone 3 mash fest.  Though I was on my road bike this time as I discovered my tri bike has a front flat. Ruh-roh.

Guess what I'll be doing tomorrow morning before work.  I'm so slow at changing tires it will probably take me around a half hour!

I was pleased with my riding this morning.  There was a fairly brisk head wind and still my pedaling remained strong and consistent.

But the real highlight came at 8:30 tonight.  All that bitching in the above few paragraphs came to a halt in the water.  For whatever reason, all that fatigue drained right out of me once I jumped in.  Once Coach Gerardo reminded me to relax and hold my stroke longer, everything clicked into place.  My timed sets were smooth and relaxed.

And my timed 100 at the end of the night gave me a new PR - 1:22.

I teased Gerardo that he told me not to expect to get any faster.  That's all he needed to tell me apparently!

I'm not sure where my energy surge came from.  The cookies I ate today?  Or the birthday cake?  It didn't come from a desire to get back in the water, that's for sure.

But I did know it was time to rally.  That one thing my Ironman training has taught me is that all this is in my head.  If I write that I am tired, then I will act tired. If I ignore the fatigue and power through, then that's what will happen.

That's going to be my mantra the next several weeks.

Rally time.

59 days and counting.

The Building Wave

Two months from right now, I'll be eating my Last Supper before Ironman.  Wondering about the Big Day that will come in those next 12 hours. I've been thinking about and waiting for this since my first workout more than 10 months ago.  It's now only 60 days away.

That still seems like a long time, but when I break it up with five weeks of peak training and three weeks of tapering, it's really almost here.  It still hasn't really hit me though.  Emotionally, I feel like I'm in an ocean with my feet still barely touching the sand.  I can see the incoming swell in the distance but it hasn't yet lifted me off my feet.  The power of the wave hasn't formulated.  But the energy, the anticipation, it's definitely there.

Today was more or less about recovery.  I ran for an hour this morning on what appeared to be the first day of school in my neighborhood's elementary school.  Cars jammed the streets on Dickens, causing me to be just that much more aware of my surroundings.  It's not like I was running fast though, as my legs were a little sluggish and my heart rate was beating as slow as I can remember in a run.  It took me almost through the first 40 minutes to creep into zone 3.

I just finished a yoga workout before returning into the office.  The calves are tight and my lower back is as well.  But there's no time to rest further.  Ironman training beckons.  Tomorrow is another two-hour-plus training day, filled with 80 minutes on the bike and 60 minutes in the pool in the evening.  All en route to a 19.5-hour training week.

The wave is picking up steam.  The water is rising above my chest.  I'm a little nervous, but not panicking.

Even though I haven't, I feel like I've been in this exact spot in the ocean before.  More than 2,000 miles logged on the Garmin and 185 hours confirm that sentiment.

I'm ready for the wave.

60 days and counting.

A Real Weekend

I'm headed into the busiest, most taxing part of my Ironman training.  Yet what I'll remember most from this weekend is the time I got to spend with Stephanie and my family. At first I was bummed that Yom Kippur fell on a Saturday.  I need that time to complete my long bike or run.  Trying to do so during the week wipes me out and for a 5-6 hour bike ride, it's logistically impossible.  But being able to enjoy a Saturday by not running around all over the place and then trying to cram in some relaxation -- even if it meant not eating much of anything -- was a true joy.  Yes, I attended services, as I mentioned yesterday.  But I also stopped long enough in my life to plop on the couch and watch some college football. I hung out with my family without looking at my watch.

Sometimes, doing less can be more for your mind and body in triathlon training.

The trend continued today, as I logged five hours in the pool (3,000 yard swim) and on the bike (4 hours, 4,300 feet, Tour de Conejo via Calabasas and Simi Valley).  You'd think that wouldn't qualify as lounging, but the eight hours from when I returned home and spent the day with Steph certainly did.  Though I was on a tight timeline with my training today since we had a 3 p.m. appointment with our wedding ceremony rabbi, it actually ended working in my favor.  I got to really feel like I had a leisurely Sunday without the guilt of either missing all my training or not spending quality time with my lady.  While I had to cut my workouts short -- by 500 yards in the water and around 1.5 hours on the bike -- it still meant more time after our appointment just to hang out with no particular plan. Like a long date.  We filled our afternoon running an errand (I needed new swim shorts and goggles), eating an early dinner at Fritto Misto in Santa Monica, and watching Peyton destroy Eli at home on the couch.

It was so nice to have a weekend back in the heat of my Ironman training.  I'm bummed I didn't complete my original 17.5 hours of scheduled training.  But, I still checked off most of my workouts, trained hard, and at the end, I feel quite refreshed.  Mentally, I'm ready for next week's dose of Ironman fun, which will call for another 17.5 hours.  Physically, I worked hard but have much more left in the tank.

Which is more important: Completing all your training and feeling mentally and physically drained, or completing most of it, finding balance at home and looking forward to the next week?

Is there any doubt what the correct answer is?

61 days and counting.