Grouchy!

I was a big grump today.  And tonight. Why?

My swim sucked this morning.  I was lethargic in the water, almost a full 15 seconds slower in the same exact distance intervals I did on Tuesday.  The slower I got, the more frustrated I became.  The more frustrated I became, the worse my form became.  It was a downward spiral from there.  I just flat out didn't want to be in the water.  I was angry because swimming the equivalent of 80 football fields this week didn't exactly feel like a taper.  Then, fighting traffic to get to Griffith Park with enough time to cram in my hour bike made matters worse.  I honked my horn. Cursed slow drivers.  I was not pleasant.

Of course, my bike ride felt sluggish as well.  And, as you can imagine, I grew even more frustrated.  At least I fueled that negative energy into pedal power, hitting 25 mph a few times on the flats out of pure spite.

I think I greatly over-estimated what tapering for an Ironman would be like.

However, at the end of a long day and evening that continued to be stressful, I can hear my inner Coach Gerardo asking me one very important question: "How did you feel after the bike and swim this morning?"

Hmm.

Pretty good, actually.  Like I definitely could have kept going without any problem.  And the only way I would have experienced that feeling is by not quitting on myself today, which I avoided doing despite every ounce of me wanting to crawl out of the pool and go back to sleep.

Anyways, my point is this.  Even when a workout or two seems to fall apart. Even when training schedules throw you a curveball, you must keep going.  No matter how hard it is.  Now matter how much you want to quit.  Something good will come of it. Somehow. You won't know how, or when you'll even realize it. But it will come.

So even though today pretty much sucked all the way around, it was still a good day. I got through it.  I swam 8,000 yards in three hours over two days.  Not a lot of folks can say they did that.

Now leave me alone so I can go get some sleep.

17 days and counting.

Not Tapering Yet

If this is tapering, I'm not feelin' it yet.  I just got done with a yoga class that let out just after 9 p.m.  I ran about 8.5 miles this morning. And just now, I packed a full bag for a 2.4 mile swim tomorrow morning and an hour of intervals cycling immediately after.

This is tapering?

Sure, I had a (well-deserved) day off from training on Monday.  And, yes, I'll have this Friday off as well. Yet the intensity of the workouts still doesn't quite feel like what I expected.  Maybe my expectations were off.  I figured we'd be doing general maintenance work at this point -- just enough of a workout to keep my energy levels moderate so I'm not ready to tear the legs off a Cheetah barehanded.  After I catch up with it, of course.

Instead, I've got another 5:40 a.m. wakeup call tomorrow to plop into the pool.  I thought I was done with those for the immediate future.

Maybe the REAL taper starts next week when my training hours head closer into the single digits. I'm really looking forward to that.  What I'm going through right now feels closer to thinking you've finished a marathon and then the race organizers tell you, "Oh wait, it's actually 27.2 miles now.  You've got one more mile to go!"

UGH.

OK.  Off to bed.  More training beckons early in the morning.

18 days and counting.

All Blown Up

Forget the fact that I swam 4,000 yards this morning (T-pace looks firmly between 1:48-1:51/100 right now).  Or that I rallied on the bike trainer for an hour late tonight...while watching Glee with Stephanie. No, that's not what I'm proudest of.

I changed two fictional flat tires.

Well, OK.  I changed one.  Before I put too much pressure in the CO2 cartridge and blew up the tube.  I totally dazed myself too!  It felt like when you play Call of Duty and you've been hit with a flash-bang grenade.  I was momentarily stunned and spacey.  Steph rushed into the room to ask if I was OK.  I managed to say I was fine, but definitely felt a little loopy for a moment.

I think I pinched the tube while putting it in.

Maybe that is an understatement.

BUT...but, I rallied.  I got a new cartridge, gathered myself, and tried again.  This time, I got it right.  Even though it took a LONG time (14 minutes), I still took out the old tube, slightly inflated a new one, inserted it properly, encased it and didn't pop my eardrums.

Granted, I haven't yet taken the back tire off my bike and re-attached it.  That will come next.  For now, I just want to practice getting the flats fixed. Honestly, I can see that it's not hard.  I just need to do it more often and not stress out about it.  Both easier said than done.

I'm going to buy a bunch of cartridges tomorrow and practice every night from here until I leave for Arizona.  I may even ask my work buddy and cycling mentor, Frank, if he'll let me work with him all next week on honing my tire-changing technique.  Even if I can get down to 10 minutes for a rear tire, that would rock.

Wish me luck.  And that I don't go deaf between now and then from more unexpected bursts!

19 days and counting.

300 Posts

OK, this is my 301st blog post, for those of you keeping score. That's 300 times over the past year where I gathered my thoughts, positive or negative, and shared them in this space.  If roughly each post is around 250 words (probably more, but we'll play it conservative), that's around 75,000 words combined.

That's also a lot of time to spend dwelling on one goal.

So, what have I learned so far?

-- I've learned that Ironman is much more about mental toughness rather than physical toughness.

-- I've learned I really don't like getting meals from bars and gels.  But if ya gotta do it, Clif Bars and chocolate Hammer gel work just fine.

-- I've learned that the hardest workouts, not the best workouts, are the most gratifying.  Sometimes just getting by is all the accomplishment one needs.

-- I've learned that the body is a delicate machine that requires constant care and feeding (literally) to perform at optimum levels.

-- I've also learned that ice baths are worth the shocking pain a man can get in the worst of places while taking them.

-- I've learned that just when you think you've spent enough on all the triathlon gear you'll need, there's something new to buy.

-- I've learned that without a supportive partner, friends and family, triathlon is the loneliest of pursuits.  And without that same support on race day, completing a triathlon is among the emptiest of accomplishments.

-- I've learned that how far I can push myself is a moving target based on my conditioning and my mental state.  In other words, it is up to me.

-- I've learned that while you have to do the actual work, a coach will make that work count for more.  I can't say enough good things about Coach Gerardo.

-- I've also learned that having a group of training partners to help push you forward is unspeakably valuable.  I can't imagine having trained for nearly a year at this point without them.

-- I've learned that honesty and vulnerability regarding my feelings make me stronger, not weaker.

-- I've learned that blogging helps me gain perspective on my training that in turn combats burnout since I can learn to take a small nugget from practically every workout.

-- I've learned how to take care of myself for the rest of my life by leading a healthy lifestyle.

-- I've learned that consistent physical training can help me make better, more creative decisions in the workplace.

-- I've learned to appreciate my training off days.

-- I've learned to tolerate my upstairs neighbor.  That little bitch.

-- I've learned that chlorine is powerful stuff.  It corrodes swimsuits, hardens skin and lightens hair. Yikes!

-- I've learned I'm a much different person today than I was when I started Ironman training.  Perhaps I've seen more physical, spiritual and emotional growth over the past year than during any other point in my life.

-- I've learned that no matter what happens on November 21, I've done the work to be called an Ironman.

Thank you for sharing that journey with me.

20 days and counting.

At the Peak

I'm not sure what I should be thinking tonight. On one hand, I got through another long weekend of training.  My final long weekend of training before the Big Race.  I had a 4.5 hour brick yesterday and a 4.5 hour swim/bike/run workout today.

On the other hand, I don't feel how I would have liked to coming off the last heroic push.  I bonked on the run today around the eighth mile.  I've been analyzing it and it could have been from a variety of factors.  It was surprisingly warm, for example (around 75 degrees with no clouds).  I ran in the heat of the day, too.  I had a massage from David at LA Body Mechanics the day prior.  I bike 55 miles (with 3,700-plus feet of climbing based on the Training Peaks info) and ran another 6.5 miles the day prior.  I swam two miles this morning, and biked another 25 with around 2,500 feet of climbing according to the Training Peaks data (though my watch suggested much less).

So,uh, yeah.  I guess there are some pretty good reasons for why I ran out of gas.  Still, I'm not used to that feeling after a year of training.  Essentially it's happened twice and I remember them both vividly.  And I would have preferred not running out of steam on my last "big" workout.  It's not so great for the psyche going into the taper period.  I wanted to raise my arms triumphantly at the end of my final push with the feeling like I had more in the tank.  I limped to the finish today, almost literally.

But, in the spirit of improvement, Stephanie did a fantastic job calming me down and helping me learn some lessons I can apply during Ironman.  Here are a few of them:

-- First and foremost, I need to ingest more than one Endurolyte per mile run.  I simply require more sodium per hour than the approximately 240mg I'd receive from what will likely be around six pills per hour.  I'm going to triple the pill count, especially in heat.

-- I need to keep in mind that there's only so much nutrition I can carry with me on the training runs, whereas on the Ironman marathon there will be food and drink every mile. I didn't hydrate enough today on the run.  Though I did during my swim and bike, I think.

-- I can't "chance it" when my heart rate starts to rise out of my desired running zones.  I steadily climbed from heart-rate zone 2 (where I was supposed to be for the entire two hours) by the first hour and had a hard time staying in the low-mid 150 bpm's for the remainder of the time. I finally compromised with myself that I'd walk if my heart rate rose to 160 bpm-plus.  But my speed dropped by almost a full minute per mile by the end of the run.  During the race, I'm going to need to monitor this more closely and either start more slowly or walk more often if need-be.  I'm not sure if I'll have the self-control to do that though. It's a race!  It's everything I worked for.  I really hope it doesn't come to that.

-- I need to avoid getting a massage without a full day to recover.  My legs feel rubbery and I lose what feels like the piston-like sensation of pedaling with power.  The muscular smoothness gained isn't worth the physical losses during the workout.  This week I'll be getting a massage the night going into my training off-day.  That should help.

-- I need to really think about what to put food-wise in my special needs bags.  It could be the difference between finishing strong and hobbling through a horrid run.

So, maybe I had to go through a tough workout weekend -- one that caught me by surprise since I think I expected the toughest training to be behind me -- to gain something more important for race day.  Something called experience.  Experience gained through fall-ure, as it were, and spending time in the proverbial hurt locker.

I suppose now, hours later, after an ice bath Steph prepared for me, a hot shower, some stretching and a nice Halloween candy-watching walk, I can say it was all worth it.  So, five hours later, I can raise those arms triumphantly.

I made it.

Let the taper begin.

21 days and counting.

Wild Ironman Watch

I couldn't help but sneak a peek at my preliminary training schedule next week, since it had just been posted. 13.5 hours.

The following week?  9.5 hours (???).

Race week?  4 hours (?????????).

In what might be the biggest understatement of the year, I find the taper period appealing.  Less training.  More resting.  My kind of forecast!  I may even have TWO days off a week!  TWO!  Oh what will I do with my time?!

One thing I will do is savor it.  I earned this time off!  I made it!  I pushed through!  I logged the time, now to the tune of 575 hours.

That said, I wonder how I'll handle the energy surge.  I'm already feeling a little jittery today after what really was a light week of training despite the roughly 7.5 hours I logged.  I can't imagine how I'll feel in the final few days.  I may have to wear a T-shirt that says, "Caution! Wild Ironman Alert!"  I've already started warning my closest friends, family and co-workers that I'll be a bit of a crazy man the final few days, as Coach Gerardo warned.

Heck, maybe that's what I should have dressed up as for Halloween!?  WILD IRONMAN ON THE LOOSE!

BOO!

23 days and counting.

Feeling the Strain

On my bike trainer this morning, I watched a re-broadcast of the Paris-Tours race from this year.  A rider from the Radio Shack team (Geoffroy LeQuatre)took off from the lead group with about 18k to the finish and tried to make a gallant surprise run for the upset victory.  The Frenchman opened up a lead of about 30 seconds on some hill climbs and kept it until around the final kilometer, where he was swept up by the peloton and eventual winner, Oscar Freire. In those final few kilometers, the commentators (Phil Liggett and Paul Sherwin) were talking about how the Radio Shack rider was "deep in the pain cave" based on his panting, teeth-gritting, exhausting presentation.  Clearly LaQuatre was spent and doing everything he could to coax himself to the finish despite being well beyond his red zone.

That's sort of how I'm feeling about getting ready for Ironman Arizona.

But not from the physical aspect.  Physically, other than some minor fatigue, I feel great!  Surprisingly so, to be honest.  I expected to be in the pain cave by this point myself.

It's more the anticipation of the race itself that I'm talking about here.  WHY CAN'T NOVEMBER 21 JUST BE HERE ALREADY????  Don't get me wrong.  I'm fired up for IMAZ like no other.  And I think those around me feel the same way. However, it's gotta be a slog to hear me constantly talk about this stuff, or be asked about it by my curious friends.  Whether I'm talking about it or someone else is, Ironman becomes the giant elephant in the room.  The unofficial third roommate.  The anchor holding down the social calendar.  The wet blanket covering up the sweets and chili cheese hot dogs.  I can only imagine that my family, friends and even Steph just want to see the finish line for this race just as much as I do.  Yet that November 21 finish line is just out of reach and we're all struggling, willing ourselves to the big day. Panting.  Teeth-gritting.  Grinding it out.  One. More. Day. Of. Training.  Three. More. Weeks.

Just a bit more until this race is here and gone.

Unlike the fallen Radio Shack rider, I'm hoping I can keep it together in the coming weeks and finish this journey as strong as I started..  And keep my support system intact as well.  We're almost there!

24 days and counting.

My Own Pace

I didn't feel like working out tonight.  Period.  Even though it was only yoga. Especially because it was "only" yoga.  I just felt like chillin' out tonight, ya know?  Just one night off the itinerary.  A full night to do whatever I want.  Get off from work. Come home.  Watch TV.  Screw around.  Go to bed.  Sounds so nice, after scheduling practically every day around a workout.

Still, I remembered that this was essentially the last week where some sort of gains could be made for Ironman Arizona.  So I dragged myself into my bedroom and did my own yoga practice for around 45 minutes, 10 minutes of which were foam rolling.  The schedule called for one hour, but I just didn't have it in me tonight.  I'm not even sure why.  I'm not physically exhausted.  Nor am I mentally burnt out. I really think I hit my mental low point last month.

However, I actually did learn something valuable tonight during my yoga practice.  At first, I had a hard time getting into the flow of things, pardon the pun.  I wasn't sure where to start.  Instead of fighting this feeling, instead of thinking that I was in a studio where there had to be a certain "way", I just made it up as I went along.  I let my mind take over for my body and did whatever I felt like.  Even if it didn't make natural sense.  If I felt like some Warrior 1 poses, then by golly, that's what I did.  If some Downward Dog led into Cobra, well, great! If I felt like Shavasana halfway through my practice, sweet!

That got me through the first 30 minutes just fine.  And after a while, I found myself relaxed and focused on my yoga, not the lazy feelings I had previously.

Sometimes, if you just let yourself go and relax, you might be surprised at how your body and mind reward you.

Yes, Coach, I'll try that in the pool tomorrow morning.

Good night now.

25 days and counting (Yes, I'm back tracking.  My math was off yet again!)

Active Meditation

When you're training for an endurance race, spending endless hours on your own in repetitive motion, there's plenty of time to let your mind wander. As I do the same loop on the Griffith Park bike path every Tuesday morning (MIND. NUMBING.), I've had plenty of time to think lately about how mental down time is used.  Sometimes, it's basic to-do list planning.  Other times it's used in the always popular "woulda shoulda coulda" mode.  You know, "I could've done this, should've done that, would've if only if. ..."    This often results in a downward spiral that doesn't result in anything but frustration and an inability to look beyond the past.  Which is too bad on mornings like this one where the sun finally decided to make a reappearance.

A third (more productive) option is to monitor the "Now."  "How am I feeling on this ride?"  "How is my technique?"  "Is my heart-rate in check?  If not, what can I do to fix that?"  I've found this kind of thought is especially effective in longer-duration training where looking ahead at the long day can cause dejection or a heart-rate spike.

Of course, focusing on the "Now" is difficult.  It is easy to get distracted and to get back to idle wandering.   When that happens to me -- usually after a long duration of consistent output and no real change in my energy levels -- I try to focus on what's next: planning.  Or visualization.  I ask myself how I might respond in a race under similar circumstances as I'm experiencing in that moment.  Or thinking about something my coach told me that requires some deeper analysis.  Often, this is the second-most productive kind of mental output I can create.  There's a tangible "product" in terms of a solution to a problem, and the value associated with knowing I may not have attained that solution had I not invested the time to think about it in a substantial manner.

Now hopefully you read the paragraph above and wondered how something as beneficial as planning or visualization can only be the second-best kind of thought during training.

In my opinion, here's the best kind of thought.

Ready for it?

....

....

....

NOTHING.

Emptiness.

It's that place where the "zone" exists.  You know you've been in the zone when you snap out of it, wondering how you got from Point A to Point B because you honestly don't remember any conscious thought during that span.  It often happens to us while driving, but while training?  It's rare.  There can be too many variables at play between physical sensations, weather, terrain, navigational thoughts and so forth.

When it does happen, I'd call it "active meditation."  Empty mind through repetitive motion.

But how is no thought valuable?  For me, I find it extremely valuable because the trick is there's really no such thing as "no thought."  Our minds are always racing.  Doing something.  Even when we don't know it.  That "doing something" may just be so far in the back-burner of our brain that we don't actively perceive it.

But here's what really happens.

Five hours after that "zone" experience, you're sitting in a brainstorm meeting at work.  You walk into the meeting wondering what in the hell you're going to say because you don't have a damn thing prepared.  It's not like you didn't think about it though.  You did!  It just seemed that nothing quite stuck.

Then, in the middle of the meeting, you start spewing ideas like Old Faithful.  Heads nod.  People write stuff down. You feel good, but can't help but wonder yourself...

"Where did that come from!?"  It seemed like those thoughts came out of nowhere.

In fact, they did.

This happened to me today, in fact.

For me, this is the clear connection between the benefits of training and work performance.  I can't always quantify it, and lately my work hours have been somewhat sacrificed to cram in additional training.  But I feel like when I need to come up with an answer on the spot, or make a decision under pressure, I'm able to do so more easily and with less stress.  It's the epitome of "less is more."

Maybe I have nothing to thank for that.

23 days and counting.

Info Overload

Last night, Bob (@rcmcoach on Twitter), Leon and I met with Coach Gerardo to discuss our Ironman Arizona and Silverman race strategy plans.  Gerardo's kitchen served as our war room. We met for nearly two full hours discussing pre-race, race and post-race tips, tricks and lessons learned.  We got so detailed that we discussed counting calories, salt intake, what time to wake up on race day, what time to eat, even exactly what to pack in our special needs bags on the bike and run courses. That's just a fraction of the information we ingested.  I almost have information digestion issues!

It was exactly the kind of experience where I realized how valuable having a triathlon coach can be.  I can't imagine going into this race not being armed with the four pages of notes now stored in my computer.

The biggest thing I learned during those two hours is how regimented the days and hours leading to the race may be regimented.  It's almost like the science of the sport suddenly takes over.  And considering I'm a "feel" guy more than a numbers cruncher, it will be an interesting experience for me.

Right after posting this, I'm going back over my notes.  I need to reorganize them.  Prioritize them again.  And perhaps most important, I need to share them with those family and friends coming to cheer me on.  There will be a lot they need to know.

I will also share some of those tips here, though I need to keep them appropriately vague. Not because I don't want to share them with the competition.  No, it's not that at all. I'm not trying to qualify for Kona.  It's out of respect for Coach Gerardo, who has amassed his knowledge and experience from more than 70 triathlons and his share of Ironman-distance races. My fellow Fortius Coaching teammates pay for that access, and it would be unfair to him if I just openly blabbed that data to the world.  I think I did that for Vineman 70.3 without really thinking it through, and I need to find a better balance between being a paying client and a blogger who shares anything and everything.

So, you'll just have to trust me when I say I'm feeling very well prepared for Ironman Arizona. Physically, mentally, and hopefully emotionally.  I'll share what I can hopefully tomorrow, though I'm going to show Gerardo first to make sure it's not too proprietary.

For now though, it's back to the gym.  Back to the roads.  Back to the pool.  There's still one more week where I can make gains for IMAZ.  Then, the real taper starts.  Mentally, it started for me this week as I "only" have 18 hours of training compared to the 19-plus and nearly 21 hours I did this past week.  So, 18 is a cakewalk by comparison.

Even after this past weekend's training, I feel great.  Sure, I'm sore and tight.  But, I know I have more left in the tank for one more push to improve over the next several days.  I'm going to take that seriously.  I know there's something left to eke out of my performance. I'm not sure where.  Maybe it's a smoother feeling on the run in the latter miles.  Maybe it's a loosening of my quads and thighs on the bike, or being able to swim more smoothly for longer.  Whatever it is, I'll find it this week.

That, I can share with you.

24 days and counting.