1 Step Backward, 1 Step Forward

I had to write my first "race exemption" email today, and I didn't like how it felt. The Los Angeles 13.1 Marathon is this Sunday.  I signed up shortly after completing Ironman Arizona, thinking that more running would equate to becoming a better runner.  I desperately wanted to improve my marathon time, and figured I'd be fine to resume training after about two weeks off. Unfortunately, while my heart has and continues to be willing, my body just hasn't quite cooperated.  That's not to say my recovery is going poorly.  Far from it, once I accepted and embraced that I needed a recovery period.  I'm feeling stronger every day now and my lingering leg pains are starting to subside.  But the point is that I don't really need this half-marathon, or my Surf City full marathon in a few weeks, to elevate my running.  I didn't know that at the time, though a few of you tried to warn me.  More running can equal more pain.

Still, the frustration at having to bow out of a race gnaws at me. On one hand, I know I'm doing the smart thing.  I keep telling myself, "follow the plan," repeating that mantra daily with each workout.  On the other hand, I feel like I've failed myself by not being able to perform.  It's like some joker pointing his finger at me and saying with a laugh, "You're getting older!"  What's more frustrating though is that I know I could have completed the half-marathon this Sunday.  I might have done it at my current Ironman pace, but I could have run it.  However, at what cost?  My psoas might have tightened up. Or my knee tightness may have increased.

Further, now I can continue to work on improving my new fore-foot strike running technique, which is much more valuable.  There's no pressure of an upcoming race to worry about to take me off my drill work, though I do plan to turn my Surf City marathon into a half-marathon run since I have so many friends doing it too.

So today is a bittersweet day for me as a triathlete.  By taking a step backward physically, I think I've taken a step forward mentally.  I'm practicing what I've been preaching lately.  I'm going to work on getting faster by forcing myself to go a little slower.

For us Type A personalities, that's about the hardest thing there is to do!  Outside of completing an Ironman.

162 days and counting.

Chicken Salad Out of Chicken Sh*t

My morning bike ride started off poorly.  First, my buddy Frank and I were confronted with a fog bank so thick in Agoura Hills that we had to drive back over the hill on the freeway to higher ground to have enough visibility to ride.  But it wouldn't matter, as Frank realized once we prepared to leave that he forgot his shoes at home.  His day was over before it started.  On the day before his birthday, no less. Then, if that wasn't enough, I got a flat tire on my back wheel -- in the first mile of my solo ride.  I knew my back tire had a slight gash in it following my rainy Santa Clarita outing a couple weeks ago.  Yes, Frank suggested I replace the back tire but I thought I could get lucky and make it last a while longer.

Turns out Frank knows what he's talking about.

Fortunately, I noticed my flat about a block away from a cycling group preparing for its own Saturday morning ride. I was even more fortunate that my Fortius teammate Jason decided to ride with this group instead of our team -- he pulled up in his 4Runner almost immediately when I pulled up with my lame bike in the cul-de-sac.  Jason helped me insert an empty Clif Bar wrapper between my new tube and the tire to keep debris out for my ride back to the car.

That wasn't even the highlight of the pit-stop though.  I met Julie, who recognized me from my Fortius race kit and told me she was the person cheering for me at the bike turnaround point at Ironman Arizona.  I had never met Julie in my life, but she was a friend of my buddy at Helen's Cycles, Pete.  Pete told Julie about me and asked her to cheer for me that day.  This unknown cheerleader had remained a mystery for me since then, so I was excited to tell my new friend that hearing her scream for me at those lonely checkpoints truly boosted my energy and resolve heading back into the headwind.  If nothing else, that helped make my brief ride today somewhat of a success.  Saying "thank you" to Julie felt great.

So now that my bike ride was over for the day, I had a choice.  I needed to be back home in 1.5 hours for a family obligation with Steph.  I could just skip working out for the day and lament my bad luck on the bike, or I could try to squeeze in a trail run.

Even though I was bummed about not cycling with Frank and embarrassed by my choke-job on fixing my own bike in front of others, I decided to at least try to fit in a hilly trail run.  I'd have to drive another 30 minutes to the Dirt Mulholland trail, but I couldn't let the whole day be a loss.

I'm so glad I did!  FINALLY, seven weeks after Ironman Arizona, I enjoyed a run where my knees didn't act up!  Yes, my right psoas still felt tight but that was it.  Better still, my calves weren't screaming in pain from my new running technique where I'm trying to run purely off the balls of my feet instead of my old heel-to-toe strike.  Better than all that was my lower, calmer heart-rate on hills.  I felt like I was running slower, but still I managed to bang out nearly six miles in an hour on a hilly trail where my heart-rate only briefly visited zone 4 a few times and I typically stayed in the low-mid 140s.

To think I would have missed that experience had I sulked about my bad luck on the bike.

We often hear about how if you fall off the proverbial bike, you should get right back on it again.

Sometimes, maybe it's best when you fall off the proverbial bike, to simply ditch it and just change into running shoes.  Take what the moment gives you.  Accept it for what it is.  And plan a different route to achieve a goal.

164 days and counting.

My Amazing Super Food

This past week, I've experimented with a new "Super Food" powder with a very funny name (at least to me it's funny).  The product is called Amazing Grass. Yep.  I'm not joking.  More like snickering and remembering college.

Anyway, I've been interested in fruit and vegetable supplements for months.  While I eat carrots, bananas, berries, apples, dried apricots and "tangelos" regularly, I don't eat enough of the green stuff overall.  Since my buddy Bob is holding out on me with his own special fruit/veggie supplement connection (yep, I'm callin' you out, friend!), I've been searching for assistance on my own.

I ventured to the Whole Foods near my condo where I was greeted by "Dave" in the vitamins section.  He had a propensity for calling me "bro" and saying things like, "You can really pound three of these a day and feel totally great, bro!."

Yep, I'm not joking.

After listening to my needs (something to help fill the gap between what I should consume for fruit/veggies and what I actually do), Dave immediately pointed to the Amazing Grass products.  So, having a bad experience with "super food" that tastes like sewer sludge, I bought four sample-size packets (instead of the nearly $80 I spent trying Brazier's products) to see if I could get this stuff down: "Green," "Chocolate," "Berry" and "Energy."

Overall, I'm a big fan of Amazing Grass (cue snickering).

I noticed an energy boost when trying "Green," "Chocolate" and "Berry", though ironically I can't claim the same sensation for the "Energy" sample.  I tried the energy sample this afternoon, so called because it has 85 mg of natural plant-based caffeine in it.

Sorry, but doesn't that last part sound a little like cocaine to you?  Yeah, I was a little worried about that too.  Apparently it gets its kick from yerba mate and matcha.

If "Energy" makes me perform like Macca I'm interested...but I'm not feelin' it.

That said, the "Green" Amazing Grass helped me fight off an oncoming head cold in less than 24 hours earlier this week.  I was shivering and stuffed up at night on the same day I ingested the "Green" sample. The next day, I felt fine.  Almost 100%.

Yep, I'm not joking.

As for taste, it's not the worst thing I've consumed.  That's about the most ringing endorsement I can give.  (I don't think they'll put that on the back of the box though.)  The good (or bad) news is that each of the supplement samples I tried all tasted about the same, with the "Energy" supplement being arguably the best due to more of a green tea taste.  But that's just my opinion. All I can say is that "Chocolate" doesn't taste like the chocolate we know and love.  Neither does Berry.

How's this for a better tagline: Amazing Grass: "A taste you get used to!"

I'm going back to Whole Foods this weekend to make my Amazing Grass purchase.  I'll talk to my bro Dave about which of the four options is the "best" for my needs/lifestyle.  And I'll write back to let you know how I feel in the coming weeks or months.

I wonder if Amazing Grass will be a gateway to other Super Foods?

165 days and counting.

Swimming Breakthrough

It's late and I'm tired, but I'm still on a bit of a high after my first time-trial of the year.  It came in the pool, and though it was only 1,000 yards I'm very excited.  Maybe all this time off has actually paid off!? From a technique standpoint, it seems the breathing breakthrough from my Tuesday swim is paying immediate dividends.  I beat what I think was my previous best 1,000 in the pool by at least 23 seconds.  I accomplished this by breathing every four strokes instead of every two-three strokes, and generally from being more relaxed in the water.  Once I learned that I could swim more efficiently by holding more air in my lungs and letting it out gently, I realized how intensely I was swimming before -- and what that was doing to my oxygen intake and output.

If any of you are having a hard time swimming, I highly recommend this approach.  Though I think it's something you have to feel for yourself.  Trust yourself.  And I honestly think the more you enjoy being in the water, the easier it is to swim faster.  I know this because I used to fight the water, so to speak, and it showed in my splits.

I also think there's more going on here besides swim technique.  Perhaps it has something to do with nutrition and a new "super food" I've been experimenting with.  More on that tomorrow.

Right now I'm exhausted and need to go to bed.

166 days and counting.

Controlling the Uncontrollable

This ain't no 2010. Work is busier.  Multiple projects are shipping this year.  That means multiple business trips, something I didn't really have to contend with much last year, especially in the final six months of Ironman training.  Not so now.  In February, I'll be in London, Las Vegas and San Francisco.  March will see me in Austin, Texas (South by Southwest), and two weeks before my Ironman I'll be at the video games industry's largest trade show of the year, E3.  That will be great for my immune system.

I knew how lucky I was last year as the days went by.  Neither my job nor my personal life really interfered with my training.  It's only my second day back in the office from a prolonged break, and oh how things feel different already.  Though maybe the head cold I picked up while traveling in San Francisco for New Year's is contributing to that.

So what to do?  How to overcome?  I just spent a half-hour today talking to my team about finding new ways to look within to control a scenario -- even when they think things are beyond their control.  For example, instead of lamenting being sick at an inopportune time, maybe rest and nutrition played a factor as well.  Two things one can generally control.

So what can I control given my more demanding schedule?

-- How early I wake up to train.  Maybe I have to get up sooner to ensure I fit both workouts in before work so I can stay later in the evening if need-be.

-- What time I go to bed.  This may be tougher since Steph and I both work fairly long days and don't see each other much during the week as-is.

-- What I eat during the day, and at what times, to ensure I have sustained energy.

-- Accepting that I won't be able to complete every workout like I used to.  I need to be smarter.  I need to listen to my body more, especially now with some creakier knees.

-- Following workouts more closely and less freelancing.  My tendency would be to pack more intensity into each workout to make up for lost ground or time.  But I know the body doesn't train that way, even more so now that I'm reading Joe Friel's book, Your Best Triathlon.  I'll write more about that another time, but so far it's super helpful in filling in the blanks between the how's of training and the WHY.

I'll try to think of more ways I can control this situation, but if you have ideas based on what's worked for you, I'd love to hear them.

167 days and counting.

Breathing Lesson

There are training breakthroughs that come through repetition. And there are those that come unexpectedly, just by watching someone else. I experienced the latter tonight in the pool, and the "aha!" moment was truly profound.  During my Fortius-coached swim workout, Gerardo had us perform a drill where we could breathe three times per 25 yards, then five, then seven, then once and finally two 25s without a breath.  I thought the two 25s (not necessarily back-to-back) would be impossible.  I couldn't do something like that when I was in far better shape than how I've felt lately -- even though I felt particularly fresh tonight.

All that changed when I watched my teammate Mike glide across the pool almost effortlessly without taking a breath.  Honestly, it was one of the most beautiful things I've ever witnessed in the water.  Mike looked like he was going SLOW as he skimmed the pool surface.  Arms looping upward the way a steamboat might cross a river.  When he rejoined my lane mates, I had to ask him how he did that -- the key was relaxation, he said.

It was my turn to try.  I decided to go slower than usual, which to me was seemingly paradoxical considering I wouldn't be able to take a breath for the entire pool length.  While I've completed the exercise in the past (tense, hurried and anxious underwater), I had never done it so easily as I did tonight. I actually felt like I was gliding too! Were it not for watching Mike first, I'm not sure I'd have believed in myself to even think I could do it.  Then, I was able to outperform my own expectations further by only taking one breath for an entire 50, something I've never even come close to doing.

By relaxing more in the water, I actually got faster in my time trials tonight.  In fact, I was on pace for a 1:14 100 with my :37 50 at the end of the workout in a relay race.  Obviously, I realize I may have slowed on my second 50, but tonight was not only a huge lesson learned, it also will help my swimming immensely moving forward.  Perhaps all other aspects of my training.

Relax!  Let the speed come to me.  Form.  Technique.  Breathing.

Well, maybe not the last one.

168 days and counting.

A Rant and a Bet

Yesterday I indicated I'd write about resolutions for the new year.  But I need to rant first for just a second. Sometimes I just don't know which expert to listen to when it comes to keeping me healthy and strong.  Does that ever happen to you?  I've got workouts from Coach Gerardo.  I've got a carefully crafted strength-building regimen from the Shan Clan.  I've got a set of exercises to do from my ART therapist, Dr. Ben.  I've been going to a deep stretch yoga class where the instructor showed me one set of exercises for hip openers and today I went to another yoga class where the instructor told me essentially the opposite of what the Shan Clan and Dr. Ben were advising.

Who the heck am I supposed to listen to!?!?!

Today's conflicting advice came courtesy of a well-intentioned instructor teaching an Anasura-based mixed-level flow class.  I came into class fresh off my first run in two weeks, a stride-counting exercise where I was tasked with 30+ strides in 20 seconds on a slight hill.  The good news is that my left leg and hip held up fine.  The bad news is that towards the end of my run, I felt a twinge in my right psoas area (where the hip seems to meet the groin) and on the outside of my right knee.  I hadn't even been running 30 minutes.

I told the yoga instructor of my troubles and she paid special attention to me in class, adjusting me regularly in poses I thought I knew well.  It was a humbling but informative experience. But the surprising part came towards the end of class when she told me I needed to stop "clenching my butt" so much in yoga poses and relax more in the glutes.

I've been called a tight ass before, but never quite like that.

What I couldn't understand was why I was being told to do exercises like bridge pose or glute exercises where that's precisely the goal.  So I asked the instructor, and her eyes widened.

"That's the WORST exercise you could be doing for yourself!" she whisper-exclaimed, trying not to disturb the peacefulness of the flow.  "That's exactly why your psoas muscles are as tight as they are!"

Now I'm totally confused.  Has this ever happened to you?  Whose advice should be considered more "expert" than the other experts???  Normally I'd say my coach, but he's not a yoga instructor, nor an ART therapist.

Some days, I can't help but just let out a big sigh at the end of my training day.

***

OK, rant over.

On to the annual empty-promise exercise known as The New Year's Resolution.

I was thinking of generic resolutions (e.g., "spend more time volunteering,") when I read this blog post from "In Over Your Head" (Julien Smith) that my father forwarded to me.  I highly recommend you take a minute to read it too.  The short version: Treat your resolutions like bets.  "This past New Year, you probably had an opportunity to make a bet with yourself. You may see it as a resolution, but that’s not actually what it is. It is a bet, and if you lose, you will actually be worse off than you were before. The opportunity will be gone, and you will have less hope about being able to change. You will have lost the bet, and you should treat it that way."

This really changes how I look at resolutions.  I will take them more seriously moving forward.  If I'm going to say it, there needs to be real skin in the game, so to speak.

After reading that post, I promptly found a Post-It note and wrote the following: "Break 12:00:00 at Coeur d'Alene."  It now sits smack in the center of my bathroom.  Soon there's not going to be any room to see myself on that mirror!

I know how risky this bet is.  I know I'm behind in my training.  I know I'm listening to several masters right now telling me how to restore my health.  But I'm still going to bet myself I can break 12 hours at IM CDA.  And I'm making my bet public.  Let's see what happens.

I'm also going to bet myself that I can volunteer at least nine times this year.  It may seem low, but considering how little I've done in the past it's a huge jump.  My bet  allows me to pick something almost monthly while leaving big "milestone" months alone if need-be (e.g., June (IM CDA), August (wedding), and September (honeymoon)).

What are you going to bet this year?

169 days and counting.

From Coney Island back to Kona Training

Before getting started, I wanted to share my first column, Mind Games, for Lava Magazine's website.  For those of you who have been following regularly, thank you as always!  And for those who may be new to this space, welcome!  Like my column (hopefully) suggests, I promise an open, honest look at triathlon training from a "regular guy's" perspective.  Someone juggling a career, a soon-to-be marriage (wedding in August!) and trying to hold my body together long enough to eventually find my way to Kona -- either through qualifying or by lottery. I try to blog daily whenever I can, since we're all training daily I figure there's always something worth sharing!

Since I wasn't training the past few days, I didn't write much though.  What was I doing? EATING!  Judging by what I consumed this past holiday season, the only thing it seems I have been training for is not Kona, but rather Coney Island and the big eating contest held there annually.  I've gained nearly 10 pounds since Ironman Arizona!  Words like "heaping", "double-helping", "extra whip cream" and "Ghiradelli Chocolate" were routinely a part of my vocabulary from Christmas through New Year's.  This was accentuated by a visit to Napa Valley and San Francisco to ring in the New Year.  They've got some pretty good wine up there, ya know.

Now, the jeans that required an extra tight cinch on my belt to keep them up can rest a little more comfortably on my waistline.  On the way back from the Bay Area yesterday, I told Steph it was time for me to refocus my training.  Words like "portion control," "healthy," and "vegetables" need to re-enter my lexicon.  We've got less than six months to Ironman Coeur d'Alene, I've got achey legs and a busy work schedule.  This year is going to be a tougher road to becoming an Ironman than last year, even though I have a lot more experience.

My first day training in 2011 took me to Equinox, in Westwood.  I've written about this place before, and now Steph is a member.  Yesssss!!!!!!  Equinox is simply the Nordstrom's of gyms.  Working out there is truly a pleasure and feels like a privilege.  Steph and I took a spin class together and then I had my first brick workout since IMAZ, a light 1,500 yard swim.  Neither workout was spectacular, but I did try something new in both.  On the bike, Equinox offers power and cadence meters.  While I use a cadence meter on my tri bike, I haven't taken the plunge yet to buy a power meter.  I can see what the buzz is about just from experimenting with it briefly.  While the meter may not have been that accurate, I know I'm pushing roughly 120-123 watts between 85-95 RPM in a relatively low heart rate.  When weather gets in the way of heart-rate, knowing what kind of power output you've got can help regulate over-compensation.

I can almost see Steph rolling her eyes now at the thought of another tri-purchase.  Ruh-roh!

On the swim, I asked Steph to record me swimming so I could analyze my stroke. Rather than write about it, I'll show you.

Ryan\'s Swim Stroke, AKA Attack of the Killer Scissor Kick!

Yes folks, I'm now on YouTube!  My channel name is TheRealIronmadman.  I decided that I needed to become more adept at video editing and this is a good way to start.  I'm going to try and incorporate more video posts into my blogs to spice things up a bit.  Now I just need to figure out how to embed video straight into each post.

Happy New Year, everyone.  Tomorrow I'll likely write about a few Resolutions I've been thinking about.

170 days and counting

2010: The Ultimate Odyssey

I've posted 345 blogs since starting this journey last November, with at least three-dozen categories.  I've probably analyzed -- over-analyzed, actually -- every detail of my Ironman journey more than most.  And yet I'm having a very hard time encapsulating the past year for my last post of the year. I set big goals and went out and accomplished them, with a lot of hard work. Stephanie and  I resurrected a broken relationship, for the final time.  None of this journey would have been quite as special had I not restored that healthy foundation.  That alone made 2010 a total success.  The completed races, personal-best times, and finishing the Ironman truly fail to come close in comparison.  Make no mistake, I would have been an Ironman without Stephanie.  But I would have thought of her at the finish, every day leading up to that moment, and every day after it.  I would have chased a ghost the rest of my life, the worst kind too.  The "What If?" spectre.

I hate that ghost. I hate "What If?"  So I destroyed it.  And couldn't be happier.

I remember when I started the year though, skeptical whether Fortius Coaching could mold me into a better athlete. Uncertain of my own psyche following a devastating breakup.  I remember Coach Gerardo telling me I wouldn't even recognize myself physically, emotionally and mentally following Ironman.

Now a year later, I know what he meant, though I'm not sure even he thought my transformation would be this profound.  I truly do feel like a different person.  Perhaps this year was the biggest growth year of my life, which is saying a lot since I spent several months backpacking through Europe both with a buddy and by myself to start the 21st Century.  That trip was a deep transformational experience in a different way.  In Europe at that time, pre-Euro currency, pre-"smart" cell phones and everywhere Internet, I was alone.  I had to learn to rely on myself.  I built a foundation for adventure and extended my personal comfort zones way beyond my sheltered suburban upbringing.  I built the foundation for this Ironman journey too, a far more spiritual and metaphorical trip.

I wonder if my 2010 Ironman would have happened if it weren't for my 2001 adventure serving as the stepping stone.

A lot had happened in my life between my 2001 backpacker's walkabout and this year's odyssey.  During that span, I had many adventures, literally all over the world.  While I may have nudged my comfort zones ever further out professionally, and personally, I hadn't really ventured off the grid (in my mind, at least) into the Great Unknown since quitting my job prior to September 11. That spring I quit work, quit my apartment, quit my car payments, and donned a small bag filled with all the contents I would need to live.

50 cities, 12 countries, 90 days.  A different kind of triathlon.

And yet my preparation for and completion of Ironman surpasses even that epoch.  I NEVER expected my journey to Ironman to rebuild what had become an eroded sense of self-confidence, rekindle my passion for writing, stabilize my emotions and provide me with such a supportive group of friends and teammates, not to mention some of you readers out there.

My 2001 odyssey was an escape.  My 2010 odyssey was a gift to myself.

I hope 2011 brings more gifts, but most of all, I hope that if you haven't already you'll reward yourself with such a gift.  We all deserve it.  We deserve abolishing that "What If?" ghost, even if it's only for once in our lives.  To stand at the finish line, real or metaphorical, arms raised, screaming from a primal place, nothing can surpass that feeling. The feeling of personal victory.  It doesn't have to be an Ironman either.  It can be going for a promotion at work, or starting a new career venture, taking a chance with that cute friend you always liked but haven't had the courage to ask out. It can be ANYTHING.

Make the most of 2011.  Pick your Ironman and FINISH IT.

Wipe "What If?" from your vocabulary.

I'd say good luck, but you won't need it.

Enjoy your New Year's Eve celebration!  I'll be back on January 2, fresh from spending the holiday with future wife.

175 days and counting.

PS: For those wondering about my legs, it appears that I've got a problem with the tendons in my hips connecting my glutes and IT bands.  The acronym for that part of the body is TFL, which some of you (Robyn?) may be familiar with.  My ART specialist said it's hard to say for sure though because of all my other structural issues, but based on the pain there in today's therapy session, I'm guessing it's a root cause.  We'll keep at the recovery, and I'll keep you posted on the progress.

Walk it Out

Stephanie called me via cellphone this morning about 30 minutes before my scheduled Deep Stretch yoga class at Black Dog.  She had mistakenly taken my car keys with her to run errands, but also had her keys. This meant I was stuck at home with no car.  Not a problem though, as I was comfortable on the couch watching the Lombardi documentary on HBO.  By the way, I highly recommend this movie.  It humanized one of the greatest coaches of our time and offered valuable lessons into motivational techniques while painting a portrait of a complicated, driven, tortured man.

I had every opportunity to throw my hands up and miss the workout. No car, no workout.  But, Steph convinced me to try and walk to the studio, which is roughly a mile or two away.  I had 25 minutes, so I knew I had time.  I was just feeling lazy, per the usual lately.

Thank goodness I rallied.  There literally wasn't a cloud in the sky.  The temperature was in the low-mid 70s (fahrenheit for my EU friends!). The picture-perfect So Cal morning.  What a pleasant walk!  I can't remember the last time I just took a walk for fun.  I'm always rushing somewhere, or pedaling somewhere, or driving somewhere to run somewhere else. Even though I was "rushing" in this situation, it didn't feel like it.  This was a leisurely pursuit.

And as a bonus, I rediscovered my neighborhood.

Things look, smell and generally feel different when you're walking and not running.  The cracks in the sidewalk.  The colors of the tree leaves. Kids squealing at the schoolyard.  The dog poop that someone neglected to pick up on the grass.

Today was a nice reminder that slowing down can be just as enjoyable as speeding up.  And, once again, that doing is even better than watching someone else's accomplishments -- even if it's Vince Lombardi himself.

176 days and counting.