New Normal

My eldest daughter, Audra, was a terrible infant and toddler sleeper.

Hold on, I’m still tripping out that I can write, “my eldest daughter.” Ayla is a mere six weeks old.

We’d be up with Audra every two hours for months on end, as I’ve written in the past. Somehow, I managed to train through it — most of the time.

There was a several-months gap after Ironman Arizona 2015 where I had to back out of being coached altogether. I just couldn’t get my head off the pillow. It as a frustrating and fairly miserable experience for me.

Fast forward to now. Ayla sleeps pretty well, but with two kids…it seem one of them is always up. As what happened the last two nights. Training has been difficult the last three days, and I’ve outright failed to rally. Work, family, life…it’s all been a blur.

Four years ago, I quit on myself and stopped training. Now, I simply realize that this is the “new normal” for the next several years. Some days are going to be easier than others to rally and train. Other days, well, I’ll just need to sleep.

The key for me this next year is going to be not quitting on the process or on myself. Some fitness is better than zero fitness going into a race.

It’s also a question of priorities. Four years ago, I can say my life priorities looked like this:

— Training/family/Audra/work (all in a 1-1-1-1 “equal” horizontal line)

This caused significant stress in my life and for those affected by my sleep-deprived moods!

My perspective has since changed. Like this morning, when I was interrupted writing this post to be there when Audra woke up from sleep. I’m just so happy to be the first thing my daughter sees when she wakes up. Nothing can replace that.

So, 2019-2020 is on point with this approach so far:

— Family (Steph/kids)

— Sleep! (walking around like a zombie all day is only OK on Halloween)

— Juggling Insomniac and Good Wolf Coaching

— Training/Racing (provided everything else is dialed in — “Win the Sunrise” within limits, in other words…NOT at all costs)

— Social life (need some form of exercise whenever I can get it to then be mentally present for a glass or two of wine — I like to feel like I earned it)

This is probably going to mean slower race results for me. But the balance resulting from better perspective and self-forgiveness will help me keep my sanity and be more present for my family than IMAZ 2015.

I’m not sure how or if my “new normal” will change into a “newer normal.” But in the meantime, it’s helping me better understand and manage the life around me.