This morning, I may have hit my low point in Ironman training. I couldn't get out of bed in time for my Tuesday morning ride. It was supposed to rain, which provided the perfect excuse to sleep in a little longer. Plus, last night's massage had left me in a rather tranquil mental state as well. Still, I needed to cram in a nearly two-hour ride before work. This required me to ride on the trainer. I can't decide which is worse: Swimming endless laps in a pool, running on a hilly trail on a hot day by yourself without enough hydration, or riding for more than an hour on a bike trainer.
When you do all three in the span of a few days, it can cause you to go a little batty. The sweat was literally forming little pools on my floor. Shredded tire peeled away by the trainer floating in the salty water. Finally, I had to pry the drenched technical shirt off my back just to feel like a normal human being again. It was just one of those "What the hell am I doing to myself?!" kind of moments. Which, as you've seen lately, I've had more and more of lately.
And instead of basking in the accomplishment of completing the workout, all I could think about was tonight's swim and how much I didn't want to attend. I was so over it! And yet I have a month and a half to go still.
Fortunately, I remembered my Muse mantra in the car on the way home from work, an hour before the swim.
They will not force us!
They will not control us!
We will be victorious!
The song, Uprising, totally picked me up. I remembered that this is all a choice. Sometimes, a tough choice. But a choice nonetheless.
I arrived to the pool reinvigorated. Ready to swim. Despite the crisp evening chill and scant raindrops. The swim was a fairly intense one, with three sets of alternating 500s, 400s and 500s and a timed 100 to conclude the workout. If my mental state had been worse, there's no way I would have matched my 100 PR time of 1:22. Even Coach Gerardo commented that I had a breakthrough in my stroke, lifting my left arm higher out of the water and gliding through the stroke longer. He's confident I can lower my 100 time further if I continue to hone my technique.
And to think this workout almost didn't happen.
Every day I have to find a new way to motivate myself right now. Today it was music. Who knows what it will be tomorrow.
45 days and counting.