You Might Be a Triathlon Addict...

Remember Jeff Foxworthy's hilarious "you might be a redneck..." rants? I think I've got a variation, albeit a slightly less humorous one.  It came to me just now while I was sitting on my couch(on my day off from training) watching Stage 6 of the Amgen Tour of California...for the second time today.

"You might be a triathlon addict..."

Here goes:

You might be a triathlon addict if you watch the live online stream of a cycling race and then go home to catch the HD TV version, just for the amazing views and cyclist interviews.

You might be a triathlon addict if you realize that shaving your chest is no longer "manscaping" but rather a necessary step to reducing your swim time.

You might be a triathlon addict if you spend 30 minutes in a Sports Chalet to pick out the perfect swimsuit...since the last two were thrown out mercifully by your fiancee because people could see your butt crack.

You might be a triathlon addict if five minutes in a bike shop for Co2 cartridges turns into 30 minutes because you're debating whether you should put anything but Italian components on an Italian-made frame.  The answer is no.

You might be a triathlon addict if you get just as geeked up meeting and befriending an age-group triathlete pro as you would a football, baseball or basketball star. That happened to me this week, courtesy of Caleb Sponholtz on Team Sirius.

You might be a triathlon addict if you're planning to leave work early on Monday to meet Mark Cavendish at a local bike shop.

You might be a triathlon addict if you check the waitlist for the Vineman 70.3 practically daily even though you know the likelihood of being admitted to the race is all but guaranteed and has been for weeks. Better safe than sorry, I say.

You might be a triathlon addict if you sob like a melodramatic teen girl watching the Ford Ironman World Championships DVD.  Did that earlier this week.

You might be a triathlon addict if in your free time you link corporate sponsors up with elite amateur and pro triathlete teams.  Been doing that with Jack Black's Performance Remedy line of men's skin care products.

You might be a triathlon addict if you think of multi-tasking like transition times, looking for every possible opportunity to shave unnecessary wasteful time out of your day.

You might be a triathlon addict if you shave your legs.

Guess I'm not a triathlon addict then!  Ha!

Yet.

188 days and counting.