Master of My Fate?

I watched Invictus today, in between training sessions. (More on that below.)

Invictus is an average movie but I'd still call it a must-see. Not because of the acting or the story, but because of the message.

And when I say message, I really mean one line of one poem. The poem that bears the movie's name. The line is from Mandela's favorite poem, Invictus. The quote: "Master of my fate... captain of my soul."

That line is deeply inspirational, but I wonder if it's truly attainable.

Everyone wants to captain a piece of your soul, or thinks they have a right to own it. Your family. Your friends. Your co-workers. Your boss. The tax man. And more.

But do they? Who's in charge, really? Whose ship is it? Whose fate?

Are you the captain of your soul or master of your fate? Have you always been? If so, I salute you, because that is hard work. I've had moments in my life where I've exerted that control, including Ironman training. But each of these watershed moments for me came or is coming at a great cost. Even when you win, you lose. Either in relationships, lost time, or letting down someone's expectations.

Yet I don't regret any of it. Not in my Ironman training. Not in other aspects of my life. My only real regret is not being a more steadfast captain of my soul more often.

***

Today's Valley Coach group training kicked my ass. Plain and simple. It started with a 13-mile Boney Mountain trail run (pictured) in Pt. Mugu State Park near Newbury Park. If you're looking for a challenging trail run, this is it. In fact, if you like running hills, this is really it. But the scenery is stunning and ranks high on my list of sights to see in my ever-growing list of "Hidden Awesome in SoCal."

Complicating matters were the new heart rate zones Coach Gerardo re-arranged for me. I wasn't sure how they'd affect my training, but in short, they've slowed me down. Apparently, I was working too hard on my Griffith Park run last week, and this did the trick in keeping me in check. Though the hills made that more difficult and forced me to walk more than I'm used to or comfortable doing. But this is how base training works, so I played along.

Fortunately, no soreness to report during the run. Not as fortunate following the run, and my subsequent swim after the movie (1,450 yards in a shortened 35-minute workout as the pool was closing for the night). I'm sprawled out on the couch writing this, with hardly any energy left to even get up. I'm totally cooked.

Too bad though, because tomorrow calls for a 50-mile group ride and an hour of yoga after.

Master of my fate? Captain of my ship?

While I may be the master, Ironman is the captain. No doubt about that.

333 days and counting.

The Wind & Avatar Blew Me Away

I woke up in Los Angeles this morning but could have sworn it was Chicago.

The wind swirled and gusted well before 8 this morning, and I knew it would be a chilly morning of training. Fortunately, the first 45 minutes were spent on my trainer indoors watching Sportscenter (how 'bout that Arizona hoops buzzer-beater!?) and The Dan Patrick Show. Then, since I'm on vacation, I was able to complete both workouts back-to-back. A rare mid-week brick.

My second workout was a time trial run to determine my tempo pace for the next four weeks. The mission: run two miles as close as possible to baseline zone 3 heart rate (152) and record the time. The challenge: a nasty head-wind that raised my bpm three-four beats each time I ran against the wind on the park track near where I live. The gusts made it a little tougher to accurately gauge the test. Still, I think I did pretty well, turning in a decent 17:44 for two miles, which would still put me under a four-hour marathon pace. Of course, the goal is to drop down closer to a 3:40 marathon, so I have lots of work to do.

All that said, the workouts were overshadowed by a far more impactful experience: Avatar. In IMAX 3D. To borrow one of my favorite geek phrases, "OMGWTFBBQPWN3D!"

Translation: "Wow, that movie sure was spectacular. I found it astoundingly enjoyable."

For me, Avatar will now occupy the rarest of spaces: it captured my imagination and sense of wonder on the same level as when I first saw the original Star Wars as a kid in the late

'70s. No other original universe movie (not taken from a book) that I can recall since Episode 4 immersed me into an alien world better or more convincingly. Yes, I attribute a lot of that to watching the movie in IMAX 3D, which is how director James Cameron told my co-worker and friend James Stevenson at Comic-Con that Avatar must be experienced. I'm glad I complied. I've never seen a movie quite as visually stunning. I also thought the use of 3D was smoothly integrated throughout and not incorporated as a cheap gimmick. Perhaps most surprising though, I truly found myself caring for the characters and the native culture on Pandora. Their plight felt real, and I found myself comparing Avatar to Dances with Wolves meets Braveheart... in space. (Jake Sully didn't have to paint himself blue like William Wallace since he already was that color.)

If you have yet to see Avatar, even if you're not a huge sci-fi fan, you must find time. And if you can, treat yourself to watching it in IMAX 3D. Overall, Avatar raised the bar for a movie-going experience, almost the same way Uncharted 2 did with videogames spectacle.

(When I started this blog, I didn't anticipate writing restaurant or movie reviews. But I'm kinda rollin' with it at the moment. Thanks for indulging me.)

337 days and counting.

Sunday in the Park

My run went so much better than breakfast afterwards.

(Yelp Alert: Paty's in Burbank...good food, good prices, brain-dead service.)

What is it sometimes with servers? Why is it that when I'm the nicest, most accommodating, most understandable guest, I get screwed the first? How hard is it to get right two scrambled eggs, two pancakes (with strawberries), with a turkey patty and orange juice? Compared to multiple omelets ordered by my fellow Valley Coach/LA Tri Club athletes? Yet, there I was, last to receive my food, with the order completely jacked up. No strawberries. No orange juice. Turkey patty delivered without the eggs and pancakes. Really? No, seriously...really? My bad luck continued through the end of the meal when the group had to wait outside for me as the bill had to be first recalculated to account for the missing orange juice order I got charged for, and then when my change wasn't returned to me. Actually, the server had the chutzpah to ask me if I wanted change after giving $20 for a $10.40 bill. Uh, yes please.

...And scene.

Phew...that felt goooood! I needed that.

OK, on to more important things, like the run itself. We had three options today, a seven, 11 or 14-mile trail run in Griffith Park. I had never run in the hills there, and I've never run more than a half-marathon.

Today was my lucky day. Or at least it was at 7:30 a.m.!

First of all, if you haven't run the Griffith Park trails...wow. Once again, I've been treated to a new side of Los Angeles. And there was no smog today, so the views of downtown, Glendale and the San Gabriel Mountains were gorgeous. Wish I had brought my camera along for the run (it bangs against my leg, unfortunately).

My assignment today was to run for 2:30, with the usual 22-count/15-second cadence. Until today, I had never run longer than two hours, which occurred last week on the Nike trail run. Overall, I felt good at the end of the run, but don't think I could have run much more today. The hills were manageable and the backs of my knees didn't ache during the run like last week. Around mile 13, my IT bands started to tighten up on both legs, but I managed. My overall HR average was around 141 (though the final 20 minutes were spent in the mid-150s) and I burned through a whopping 1,600 calories.

I experimented with some new nutrition on the run at the urging of Coach Gerardo. I tried Herbalife's "Fuel Good" energy supplement (a tablet that fizzes into your water) and Powergel. The verdicts: "Fuel Good" made me feel good and Powergel gave me a power stomach ache.

My favorite part of the run, once again, was getting to know my fellow triathlete friends. Each has their own story and motivations. Today, I spent the most time during the run with Christina (pictured, back row second left), a mother of two and a two-time Ironman finisher. She recently completed Ironman Arizona, shaving off three hours from her previous Ironman thanks to extensive training from Vinnie (whom I wrote about yesterday). Christina is hoping to podium at an Ironman event within the next eight years, and with her training regimen and mental outlook I think she can do it. In fact, I think Christina is the kind of person who can do just about anything she puts her mind to.

Too bad she wasn't in charge at Paty's this morning.

338 days and counting.

Quittin' Time!

As the title might suggest, it's quitting time for me.

But only at work. And just for a couple weeks of much-needed R&R.

I'm officially off work until January 4, 2010. Today is my last day in the office, where I'm frantically trying to wrap up the year so I can head home. As I sit here in the darkened office typing this (everyone else is gone!), I feel like a kid again, as giddy about two-plus weeks off as I ever was about taking three-months off during leisurely summers long ago.

Ahhh! What to do...what to do.

Oh, I know! Train! And then train some more! It's strange, but it feels like I'm essentially taking time off from one job to focus on another, setting the training foundation for Ironman Arizona. I'm hopeful the training will be more relaxed since I won't be stressed about cramming in work hours between training sessions.

I won't have to worry as much about missing sessions, like I did today. First, I enjoyed a beautiful run this morning in Griffith Park, my first time running there besides a 10k I completed in March 2008 (think I finished in around 50 minutes if I remember correctly). Today's goal was to continuously count 22 strides with my left foot in 15-second intervals for an hour while maintaining a zone 2 heart-rate. I mostly met that goal, but I had to run for 15-seconds and then drop back for the next 45. I wasn't dropping back far though, probably to between 19-21 strides per 15 seconds. I'm not sure if that equals success, but I did hit my 22-count marks every minute and maintained an average HR of 143 for the entire hour. I hope Coach Gerardo considers that progress, especially since I couldn't fit in the cool-down swim tonight.

I had every intention of swimming (OK, I knew it was a stretch from the start) but realized today would be nuts. Presentations, meetings, housekeeping, farewells to co-workers heading to our North Carolina office...it was a packed day.

Yet once again, I feel guilty. Like I failed. I mean, I could have gotten up earlier to run and then swim, right? I feel like I let Coach Gerardo down, even though 85-90% completion per week is considered "very good" (I still hate that word though). But, I guess the only one I harm when not training is myself. 'Nuf said.

But starting tomorrow, I'll be back on schedule. A nice holiday schedule! At least for the next weeks.

Ahh!

Oh no! I almost forgot...jury duty!

Arrrgh! LA Superior Court, here I come.

342 days and counting

Just Another Manic Monday

I kinda wish it were Sunday.

I prefer the leisurely trail running session from yesterday to the gasping feeling I had by the end of my hour-long swim early this morning at the Burbank YMCA. I ended up completing the prescribed swim workout, 2,500 yards, in about 1:10. But it felt a lot longer. I feel like a hamster in a cage going back and forth for what amounted to 125 pool lengths in a 20-yard pool. Ugh.

During the swim, I noticed what Coach Gerardo was referring to when he mentioned I swim uphill. I can feel my legs dragging below the surface and it's annoying not to be able to fix it immediately. I was improving on rotating my body though. So perhaps it's one problem at a time.

By the time I got to the office before 9, I felt like it was already 5 p.m. That's because I didn't sleep so well and decided I might as well arise when Trudy and Bam-Bam did, at 5:30 a.m. (BTW, if anyone has any ideas on revenge for these inconsiderate neighbors, I'm all ears.) I realize that I need to change to this sort of schedule to fit all the workouts in before the day begins. It's more practical and allows me to have a little more free time in the evenings. The idea of going to bed at 9:30 p.m. to get a full night's sleep makes me feel like an old geezer though! Some of my friends would tell you I already act like one anyway.

I managed to have a productive day though after eating an entire calzone for lunch. I'm a bit of a calorie monster right now to keep the weight on. I also fit in the second half of my workout after work, light treadmill running and some drill work. Broke a little sweat, but mainly treated it as a recovery exercise.

Another day, another two workouts. Trying to settle into a new routine... I'll get there eventually. Now it's time to wrap up holiday shopping.

344 days and counting.

A Cold (War) Run

I'm beginning to see a pattern in my Ironman training.

The harder it is to get out of bed, the bigger the reward for doing so.

It rained hard last night throughout Los Angeles. HARD. So, once again, early this morning my bed was cozy and the room was super dark. Just the way I like it.

Oh yeah, and it's Sunday. The Day G-d invented for NFL football.

But, training beckoned. So did Coach Gerrardo's brother, Rey. The elder Barrios was leading a small group of Valley Coach and LA Triathlon Club athletes (pictured) on a jaunt through what's called the Nike trail. Surprisingly, it's not an ode to Phil Knight's company, but rather an homage to an ominous monument from the Cold War. It's hard to imagine a time when the US Army felt a need to have missile stations watching over Los Angeles in fear of a Soviet attack. But there the restored structure stands, complete with a creepy abandoned watch post station just off the main trail, along with educational signs. When I walked up the small hill towards the missile launcher, I could almost feel the tension that seemed to choke some of the fresh air out of the crisp morning.

And crisp it was. My fellow LA Tri Clubbers and Valley Coach teammates laughed about the steam rising from our bodies in the 55-degree chill (Weather Wuss alert!) after the scenic 11-mile birds-eye tour overlooking the San Fernando Valley. But it was so worth it. I've lived in SoCal my whole life and in the short few years I've been training for triathlons, I've been delighted to see a side of greater Los Angeles that I didn't think existed.

There's still nature here! Paradise hasn't quite been completely paved, and that parking lot, well, there's still a lot of trails and gravel left to explore.

On a cold, wet, Sunday morning, I couldn't be happier I rolled out of bed early. I hope the next time you're contemplating turning over in that comfy bed to get a few more hours of marginal, guilt-ridden sleep, you'll think first of the unseen world in your backyard that's waiting to be enjoyed.

Rise up. Launch yourself out of bed. You won't regret it. And who knows what hidden monuments you may find.

345 days and counting.

Into the Wild

Day Four of two-a-day sessions. I'm starting to feel the burn.

The backs of my knees are tight, as are my glutes. But I'm sleeping really well at night, despite Trudy and Bam-Bam's best efforts.

This morning started off strong. I was supposed to run outside for 45 minutes doing cadence drills and skipping. But, it was 43 degrees (though the sky was crystal clear blue) and I was having none of that. Still, I completed the workout in the office campus gym's wood-floored dance/yoga room and on the treadmill. The session consisted of six, 30 left-foot steps in 19-20-second inverals followed by 60 skips (30 each leg) and a Zone 1 treadmill cool-down. Aside from looking like a complete ass (why should this day be any different?!), the session was more challenging than I expected. But I felt pretty solid at the end.

The session's highlight came via my iPod when I rediscovered one of my favorite inspirational songs from the past couple years: "Big Hard Sun" by Eddie Vedder from the Into the Wild soundtrack. (BTW, I highly recommend reading the book. It's a quick, powerful read that straddles the essence of purity of purpose and utter insanity. Not too far off from training for an Ironman, I suppose.)

It was the perfect song for today. Cold. Alone. Passionate. Silent. Strong. I listened to it at least five times in a row.

The second workout occurred today at 5 p.m. I'm lucky to have a job that is both supportive of my personal goals and respectful of work-life balance. I was able to duck out of the office and head to the YMCA-Burbank to check out their indoor pool. I knew I'd make it back into work to make up the hours, and the pool closed at 6. Win-win scenario.

The problem with the Y's Burbank pool is that it's only 20 yards long, so you have to re-calibrate your regimen. For instance, you have to remember that 100 yards is five laps instead of the usual four. Given that I'm not the best at math and that I was running short on time, I missed the prescribed 2,600 yards of swimming by roughly 600 yards. Still, I swam a mile and accomplished most of the workout. Here was the breakout:

-- 200 yard warm-up (supposed to do 300)
-- 4 x 100 yards easy swim (skip)
-- 4 x 150 yard kick, drill, swim (check)
-- 3 x 200 yards moderate swim (check)
-- 8 x 50 yards fast (check)
-- 200 easy swim cool-down (supposed to do 300)

Man, was I hungry after! Killed an entire Baja Fresh Burrito Mexicano and probably will have a protein shake when I get home from the office, where I'm writing this entry after wrapping up the day's work.

And then I get to do another double tomorrow. Spin and upper body lifting.

Right now that sounds about as fun as getting lost in the wilderness with no way out.

Then again, after less than two weeks into my Ironman training, that's sort of how I feel already.

I'm clearly deep into the wild.

350 days and counting.

Eye of the Tiger

Running toward the Hollywood sign this morning in Bronson Canyon, I had an out-of-body experience.

What do I mean?

I think we've all had one, actually. Have you ever been engrossed in thought or activity when that perfect song comes up on your iPod, XM, Pandora, or even good ol' FM radio? It reflects your mood, your attitude and state of mind in that moment. And the moment becomes illuminated, transformed. Heightened. Intensified. Unforgettable.

It's as if you are watching yourself experience the moment from afar, because you know every nano-second of the experience is being hard-wired into your brain for the rest of your life.

That happened to me this morning, running up one of the steep grades on the way to overlooking cloudy Los Angeles atop the Hollywood sign. It was already a good morning, despite a late start. The weather was crisp, the traffic was light, and despite two back-to-back days of two-a-day workouts (and one late night out), I was feeling fine. Better than fine, even though I think I've got a head cold from Mullet Man.

My heart-rate was at my Zone 3 threshold (roughly 155 bpm) and I was working hard to keep it in check by alternating between jogging and walking.

Then, the theme from "Rocky" popped up on my iPod Nano, right as I was reaching a summit and turning a corner to see the big iconic symbol of Los Angeles peek into view, up close and personal.

The music transformed what would have been a nice moment into something special. Into something powerful. Into a belief that no hill was too high or too challenging. That no challenge couldn't be overcome with enough hard work, sweat, focus, planning and grit.

It was at this moment, alone on a Saturday morning trail run, where I realized that I could become an Ironman.

It's within reach. It's not a fantasy.

Ironman is my Apollo Creed or Clubber Lang, I guess.

And ya know what, "you ain't so bad!"

***

Quick shout-out to my good friend, TJ. He was nice enough to mention that my Ironman journey has helped him think of what his own personal Ironman challenge should be. He's embarking on something big to help his writing career, and I think he'll make it happen.

That's really what this blog is about. If I can help motivate people to think of how they, too, can find their own personal Ironman and accomplish their goals...then I would be incredibly proud and grateful.

I hope you'll join TJ and me.

353 days and counting.

ESPN + iTunes + Treadmill = Happy

I woke up at 3:50 a.m. California time to go running today. (Any wonder why this blog is called Ironmadman?)

OK, so it was 6:50 a.m. in Durham, NC, where I'm staying, but tell that to my body. It begged to differ.

Admittedly, the appeal of staying warm and comfy in my bed -- knowing this would be the best sleep I'd have for weeks thanks to Trudy and Bam-Bam -- was almost too great to deny. I was able to persevere though, knowing all too well that I can't afford to ignore Coach Gerrardo's training regimen. Bad habits form easily and especially in moments of weakness. Plus, I'm sure he's curious to see if I can handle a workout schedule even when I'm traveling, and that thought alone was the deciding factor to get up and motivate. If I think I'm letting someone down, I push that much harder not to do so.

So at 4 a.m. PST, I found myself alone in the Doubletree's tiny gym (pictured). It was me, a few treadmills, my iPod and ESPN...really all I needed besides water and a toilet to survive. And guess what? There was a water cooler just a few feet away. Happy.

The schedule called for a 45-minute run within heart-rate Zone 1, which apparently is below 135 for me based on a middle-of-the-night text from Gerrardo, who graciously answered my ignorant question.

I'm really enjoying this new way to train. As I've mentioned, I previously thought that the best way to train was to grind, to outwork myself and everyone else around me by pushing myself harder, farther and faster. I've never been the most athletically gifted (as many of my childhood friends can attest), but I always prided myself on being the "Rudy" of the group...I will out-hustle and outlast everyone else until I win. I don't mind pain if it means victory, and as my buddy TJ would say, "that's that."

So, this new approach to running and cycling, which Coach Gerrardo calls "Light, Slow, Distance" (LSD for short, no joke), is a switch. It doesn't feel like I'm working hard, and that leaves me with a slightly guilty feeling so far. But it also leaves me with more energy to get through the day, and less likely to crash around 3 p.m. like I used to do this past triathlon season. Despite my initial concern about the lack of intensity with this type of training, my workout still produced a four-mile run that burned 400 calories. Not too bad, but certainly not the six-mile, 800-calorie torture session I'm used to. Something tells me this is a little healthier (and wiser).

Tomorrow's workout calls for an hour run in zones 1 & 2, meaning my HR must stay within 150-ish the entire time. Then, I'm supposed to lift for 45 minutes after. Mostly legs and abs. Should be fun, considering I get home from North Carolina in the early evening, California time.

356 days and counting...and training already feels a bit like a part-time job! But it's a job I love.

Oh Carolina...

I'm feeling guilty.

Two days without real training.

Two days of decadent holiday cooking, complete with multiple pieces of homemade pumpkin pie and homemade ice cream. (How can anyone say no to that?!)

Yesterday was my off day, which was hard to maintain considering I was flying today to Raleigh-Durham, NC for a few days of meetings. So I got some push-ups and ab work in but that was about it. Today, I unintentionally got some exercise in because I literally was the last guy on the plane from Burbank to Phoenix this morning on the 6:50 a.m. flight. This is the second time I've cut my flight so close in two weeks...I need to give myself more time to arrive at the airport! Anyway, I sprinted the length of Terminal A with my transition bag doubling as a duffle bag and my laptop and toiletries case under my arm like a football. Thank goodness I'm in good shape...as the doors were closing just as I arrived to the ticket counter. With a little sweet talking and swallowing of pride (admitting I was late for no good reason), I made it onto my regularly scheduled flights.

Speaking of Phoenix, I went to college in Tucson at the University of Arizona. Normally, I love visiting Arizona but this time it was different, even for a 20-minute layover. As the plane descended into Sky Harbor Airport, I realized the next time I may see the Tempe/Phoenix skyline would be a year from now for Ironman Arizona. That thought really humbled me...I was flying into the mouth of the dragon, so to speak. And I felt just a little intimidated even though I have been to the city many times over the years. But not like this, not with this goal in front of me. Will I be ready in a year for this massive trial? The clock is ticking...and I'm not training today and I didn't really train yesterday either.

After a fantastic meal at The Landing in Chapel Hill (ordered the chicken in special xo sauce with pork and shrimp rice), I'm now at the Doubletree Hotel in Durham, NC (pictured), where it's 48 degrees and raining. I miss SoCal already, though the warm chocolate chip cookie waiting for me upon check-in temporarily made it all better (I'm a sucker for chocolate chip cookies, great for training). Fortunately, there's a small pool here and a treadmill, so tomorrow morning I'm waking up early to get a workout in before meetings begin at 9. I can't wait. Every day I don't train feels like added minutes to my final Ironman time...or like I'm chipping away the percentages for even finishing the race.

Am I the only one who gets this neurotic about training?

According to Gerrardo's training calendar schedule, I'm supposed to run for 45 minutes tomorrow at Zone 1 HR. I'm not even sure where Zone 1 ends and Zone 2 starts! Well, I guess I'll figure it out. I'm going to guess I should keep my HR below 120.

Going to bed now.

357 days and counting.

PS: If you're going to be at the NC-Michigan State game tomorrow night, let me now via @theironmadman. I scored two tickets thanks to my amazing work colleagues!