But Would I Do It Again?

People have been asking me a lot of questions lately about Ironman Arizona.  That's understandable. "How are you feeling?"

"Are you ready?"

"Are you nervous?"

I've had pat answers for all these: Fine, but getting more excited with each day.  Yes, I'm ready.  More than ready.  And yeah, I'm a little nervous too, though feeling much better now that I can change flat tires with relative confidence.

The one topic that has thrown me for a loop has come courtesy of separate conversations with two Fortius teammates: "Do you recommend training a full year for an Ironman?"

Honestly, that is such a tough question to answer right now.  As I mentioned to Joe tonight at one of my last Fortius-coached swims of the year, now is not the best time to ask me that.

I'll admit that I'm tired mentally after a long year of training.  I have to find new ways to motivate myself every day to train, even in these final stages.  Though tonight was a good night for confidence and morale building as I confirmed via a 2,000 yard time trial that I can indeed hit my desired swim goal in Arizona.  After watching the results from IM Florida and Silverman, knowing my Fortius teammates racing there are much faster than me, I wasn't so sure Coach Gerardo's goal time was reasonable.  I know it is now.  That's huge, just as my bike ride with Bob on Sunday restored my confidence on the bike.

But confidence-building like that doesn't come from just a few weeks or months cramming.  At least not in my case.  It's been a long, LONG road to get here, almost a never-ending road.  I've trained almost 600 hours since late last November.  I'm at the end of my line mentally and emotionally in terms of holding on to the passion for completing this massive challenge.  I need race day to come SOON.

Fortunately, it's rushing towards me like a 100-mph fastball.

That said, putting in all this time has allowed me to achieve milestones I never thought possible. I've made significant progress in each tri-discipline, progress I wouldn't have made had I not pushed myself as hard as I did.  Or taken a chance on Fortius.  From a purely physical standpoint, I don't regret the training regimen one bit.  I'm in the best shape of my life by leaps and bounds.  My 36-year-old self could kick my 16-year-old self's ass, and I was in solid shape as a kid!

As far as advice I'd give to anyone considering the same Ironman training schedule, I'd suggest asking and answering the following questions first:

-- What's your available free time?

-- Are you single?  What's your relationship like if you're in one?  How supportive is your partner?

-- What's your work situation like?  Hours?  Stress level?

-- What kind of prior training/athletic/triathlon background do you have?

-- Any significant milestones during the year besides your Ironman?  How will it affect your training?

How you answer these questions and others will determine how you can train for your Ironman.

So, would I do it all again?

Can I tell you in a couple months?

12 days and counting.

Free Time

It's Monday night.  I'm watching football on the couch.  I'm not packing a training bag for tomorrow.  No water bottles to prep.  No quick load of laundry to toss in the wash. Just relaxing.

Yep, we're fully immersed in the taper period.  And I'm quite enjoying it.

I wish I had more to report today, but I didn't train.  And I didn't miss it one bit.  Not while seeing reports from Bob that he was fighting 15 mph winds in Santa Clarita on a "recovery" bike ride. No thanks.

I suppose today really was just one those quiet days that you simply cross off on the calendar, inching one step closer to November 21.  We're inside of two weeks now.  It seems that every day the excitement grows just a bit more.  More people at work ask me how I'm feeling.  More friends check in to see how the training is going.

The time has come.

13 days and counting.

2 Weeks!

Two weeks from tonight, I'll be collapsed in my hotel room, hopefully elated with the performance I worked for and (I believe) earned. Yet it still doesn't feel totally real. For instance, despite a year of training, I felt a pang of anxiety when I realized tonight that the next Ironman on the official schedule is...mine.  There's nothing else to look forward to.  No other friends to cheer on.  No other teammates to send off.

It's just me and a date that approaches more quickly every day.

If today's workout is any indication, I'm definitely close to being ready.  Bob, my fellow Fortius and IMAZ teammate, joined me this morning for a full tri-workout.  We swam at Zuma in clear, crisp 62-degree water for 45 minutes.  I experimented with compression shorts in the water instead of a swimsuit, as well as compression calf sleeves. I liked it overall.  The calf sleeves rolled up on my leg a bit but I think that was after I took off the wetsuit, not while wearing it.  I think I'll go with that strategy at Ironman.  Any edge I think I can get.  Following a fairly leisurely transition (what a gorgeous day out!), I did my very best to hold onto Bob's wheel as we hammered out to Big Rock and back.  I succeeded for the first half of the ride as we belted out several 21-plus mph miles, but the second half of the ride, Bob stopped toying with me and simply took off.  He very well may break five hours for his bike split at IMAZ if he wanted to.  Finally, we embarked on a 90-minute run while trying to stay in heart-rate zones 2-3.  We were successful, completing just around 9.6 miles in that span on a flat course.  I needed that run following last Sunday's blow-up in Calabasas.  I know I can hold my heart-rate steady for several miles but I'll need the weather and wind to cooperate, as well as my own ability to stick to my race plan.  Today, the wind was moderate and the temperature was around 70 when Bob and I started running at noon.

Now, it's getting late (for an old guy like me).  I'm typing, reflecting about the past week.  With the exception of a couple monster swims, this past week truly felt like what I expected a taper should be.  Relaxed.  Moderate.  Fun.

With the occasional balls-out bike sprint thrown in for good measure.

14 days and counting.

Ode to Joy

Finally, I enjoyed a workout that truly felt like a taper!  Thirty-eight miles of mild climbing (just shy of 3,000 feet) at a low heart-rate, complete with actual conversations with other human beings!  What a concept!  Fun! I started off the morning riding on my own in Agoura, but about a third of the way in, near Lake Sherwood, I ran into some Fortius teammates.  I immediately turned around to spend time with Joe and Kelly.  They're both in their off-season now, so we ambled along, chatting amongst ourselves and even some other cyclists.

Kelly and Joe turned back into the Starbucks parking lot but I needed another hour of pedal time.  That was fine by me, as I felt refreshed and eager.  I realized in typing this post that today's ride was the first time in months where cycling felt like a hobby -- something I love doing -- rather than a mind-numbing effort towards a particular goal.  I'm saddened by that epiphany somewhat but happy that at least I can sense it. Maybe that's what tapering is all about.  Rediscovering the joy for the sport, plain and simple.

My spirits lifted, I found myself galloping along for a brief 30 minute follow-up run at a faster pace.  This was further encouraging to me.  Maybe now I can start to gain energy over the next couple weeks. Looking at the training schedule more closely, tomorrow's brick is more or less the last "long" workout until the race.  I can dig that.

There was another force at play today.  Something I didn't expect.  One of the reasons I was able to ride with more joy was actually because of the relief and satisfaction of knowing I'm more adept at fixing flat tires.  I know it seems silly, but just knowing I'm not screwed if something "bad" happens to the bike during the race released a flood of pent-up anxiety should it actually happen.  Certainly, I hope I can stay on the bike and not have to dismount to fix a flat.  But if I have to, I'll be ready.  This means I'm instantly more comfortable and confident riding long distances on my own.  I can be my own mechanic now.  Seriously, what a relief.

For the past several weekends, I haven't really looked forward to any workout in particular.  I've just tried to get through them. Past them.  Over them.  Around them.  Tomorrow, I can honestly say I'm excited to get back on the road.  My bike got a thorough cleaning today at Helen's, thanks to Pete, and poppa's got a new pair of cycling shoes (Shimanos).  In addition, I'm now rockin' a Speedfill bottle that holds up to 40 ounces of liquid and lets me drink from a giant straw while maintaining my aero position.

Hanukkah arrived early!

Excitement.  Joy.  It's nice to reclaim these essential feelings.  It seems like they've been gone from my training for quite some time.

15 days and counting.

Good Night

Just got home from dinner with my family.  Fantastic time filled with lots of laughter.  And lots of questions about Ironman. I've learned over the past two nights that spectating for an Inroman, for the uninitiated, is a daunting prospect.  I think Stephanie and my family is every bit as nervous about where to go, what to bring, how to act, what to do, etc.  It's stressing me out but at the same time it's humbling to see my core come together so beautifully just at the right moment. I'm excited for the big day, and it's invigorating to see that they're every bit as excited also.

On a different note, my daily tire-changing sessions with Frank are going well.  I've cut my tire changing time down in half in one day.  Frank timed me and I started at 4.5 minutes for one tire (not including reinstalling the wheel on the bike) and trimmed that to 2.5 minutes by standing instead of sitting and working over the wheel instead of parallel to it.  The other key I'm learning is that it's all about inflating the tire enough before inserting it into the tire.  Not enough air means the tire loses its form and it's tougher to cinch inside the rim.  Worse yet, it could pinch, resulting in the explosion "snake bite" (as Frank called it) the other night.

The more comfortable I get mechanically, the more relaxed I seem to get about the race.  That really was the only factor I was truly worried about at this point.  Wind, I'll deal with.  Heat, well, it worries me too but there's nothing I can do about that except slow down and grin and bear it.  Fixing flats and other mechanicals, that's something under my control.

Thank goodness for Frank.

It's late.  I've got a brick tomorrow and a full-tune up for the bike scheduled at Helen's.  My friends are racing Ironman Florida in the morning  I'll be tracking them too.

Good night, all.

16 days and counting.

Grouchy!

I was a big grump today.  And tonight. Why?

My swim sucked this morning.  I was lethargic in the water, almost a full 15 seconds slower in the same exact distance intervals I did on Tuesday.  The slower I got, the more frustrated I became.  The more frustrated I became, the worse my form became.  It was a downward spiral from there.  I just flat out didn't want to be in the water.  I was angry because swimming the equivalent of 80 football fields this week didn't exactly feel like a taper.  Then, fighting traffic to get to Griffith Park with enough time to cram in my hour bike made matters worse.  I honked my horn. Cursed slow drivers.  I was not pleasant.

Of course, my bike ride felt sluggish as well.  And, as you can imagine, I grew even more frustrated.  At least I fueled that negative energy into pedal power, hitting 25 mph a few times on the flats out of pure spite.

I think I greatly over-estimated what tapering for an Ironman would be like.

However, at the end of a long day and evening that continued to be stressful, I can hear my inner Coach Gerardo asking me one very important question: "How did you feel after the bike and swim this morning?"

Hmm.

Pretty good, actually.  Like I definitely could have kept going without any problem.  And the only way I would have experienced that feeling is by not quitting on myself today, which I avoided doing despite every ounce of me wanting to crawl out of the pool and go back to sleep.

Anyways, my point is this.  Even when a workout or two seems to fall apart. Even when training schedules throw you a curveball, you must keep going.  No matter how hard it is.  Now matter how much you want to quit.  Something good will come of it. Somehow. You won't know how, or when you'll even realize it. But it will come.

So even though today pretty much sucked all the way around, it was still a good day. I got through it.  I swam 8,000 yards in three hours over two days.  Not a lot of folks can say they did that.

Now leave me alone so I can go get some sleep.

17 days and counting.

Not Tapering Yet

If this is tapering, I'm not feelin' it yet.  I just got done with a yoga class that let out just after 9 p.m.  I ran about 8.5 miles this morning. And just now, I packed a full bag for a 2.4 mile swim tomorrow morning and an hour of intervals cycling immediately after.

This is tapering?

Sure, I had a (well-deserved) day off from training on Monday.  And, yes, I'll have this Friday off as well. Yet the intensity of the workouts still doesn't quite feel like what I expected.  Maybe my expectations were off.  I figured we'd be doing general maintenance work at this point -- just enough of a workout to keep my energy levels moderate so I'm not ready to tear the legs off a Cheetah barehanded.  After I catch up with it, of course.

Instead, I've got another 5:40 a.m. wakeup call tomorrow to plop into the pool.  I thought I was done with those for the immediate future.

Maybe the REAL taper starts next week when my training hours head closer into the single digits. I'm really looking forward to that.  What I'm going through right now feels closer to thinking you've finished a marathon and then the race organizers tell you, "Oh wait, it's actually 27.2 miles now.  You've got one more mile to go!"

UGH.

OK.  Off to bed.  More training beckons early in the morning.

18 days and counting.

All Blown Up

Forget the fact that I swam 4,000 yards this morning (T-pace looks firmly between 1:48-1:51/100 right now).  Or that I rallied on the bike trainer for an hour late tonight...while watching Glee with Stephanie. No, that's not what I'm proudest of.

I changed two fictional flat tires.

Well, OK.  I changed one.  Before I put too much pressure in the CO2 cartridge and blew up the tube.  I totally dazed myself too!  It felt like when you play Call of Duty and you've been hit with a flash-bang grenade.  I was momentarily stunned and spacey.  Steph rushed into the room to ask if I was OK.  I managed to say I was fine, but definitely felt a little loopy for a moment.

I think I pinched the tube while putting it in.

Maybe that is an understatement.

BUT...but, I rallied.  I got a new cartridge, gathered myself, and tried again.  This time, I got it right.  Even though it took a LONG time (14 minutes), I still took out the old tube, slightly inflated a new one, inserted it properly, encased it and didn't pop my eardrums.

Granted, I haven't yet taken the back tire off my bike and re-attached it.  That will come next.  For now, I just want to practice getting the flats fixed. Honestly, I can see that it's not hard.  I just need to do it more often and not stress out about it.  Both easier said than done.

I'm going to buy a bunch of cartridges tomorrow and practice every night from here until I leave for Arizona.  I may even ask my work buddy and cycling mentor, Frank, if he'll let me work with him all next week on honing my tire-changing technique.  Even if I can get down to 10 minutes for a rear tire, that would rock.

Wish me luck.  And that I don't go deaf between now and then from more unexpected bursts!

19 days and counting.

300 Posts

OK, this is my 301st blog post, for those of you keeping score. That's 300 times over the past year where I gathered my thoughts, positive or negative, and shared them in this space.  If roughly each post is around 250 words (probably more, but we'll play it conservative), that's around 75,000 words combined.

That's also a lot of time to spend dwelling on one goal.

So, what have I learned so far?

-- I've learned that Ironman is much more about mental toughness rather than physical toughness.

-- I've learned I really don't like getting meals from bars and gels.  But if ya gotta do it, Clif Bars and chocolate Hammer gel work just fine.

-- I've learned that the hardest workouts, not the best workouts, are the most gratifying.  Sometimes just getting by is all the accomplishment one needs.

-- I've learned that the body is a delicate machine that requires constant care and feeding (literally) to perform at optimum levels.

-- I've also learned that ice baths are worth the shocking pain a man can get in the worst of places while taking them.

-- I've learned that just when you think you've spent enough on all the triathlon gear you'll need, there's something new to buy.

-- I've learned that without a supportive partner, friends and family, triathlon is the loneliest of pursuits.  And without that same support on race day, completing a triathlon is among the emptiest of accomplishments.

-- I've learned that how far I can push myself is a moving target based on my conditioning and my mental state.  In other words, it is up to me.

-- I've learned that while you have to do the actual work, a coach will make that work count for more.  I can't say enough good things about Coach Gerardo.

-- I've also learned that having a group of training partners to help push you forward is unspeakably valuable.  I can't imagine having trained for nearly a year at this point without them.

-- I've learned that honesty and vulnerability regarding my feelings make me stronger, not weaker.

-- I've learned that blogging helps me gain perspective on my training that in turn combats burnout since I can learn to take a small nugget from practically every workout.

-- I've learned how to take care of myself for the rest of my life by leading a healthy lifestyle.

-- I've learned that consistent physical training can help me make better, more creative decisions in the workplace.

-- I've learned to appreciate my training off days.

-- I've learned to tolerate my upstairs neighbor.  That little bitch.

-- I've learned that chlorine is powerful stuff.  It corrodes swimsuits, hardens skin and lightens hair. Yikes!

-- I've learned I'm a much different person today than I was when I started Ironman training.  Perhaps I've seen more physical, spiritual and emotional growth over the past year than during any other point in my life.

-- I've learned that no matter what happens on November 21, I've done the work to be called an Ironman.

Thank you for sharing that journey with me.

20 days and counting.

At the Peak

I'm not sure what I should be thinking tonight. On one hand, I got through another long weekend of training.  My final long weekend of training before the Big Race.  I had a 4.5 hour brick yesterday and a 4.5 hour swim/bike/run workout today.

On the other hand, I don't feel how I would have liked to coming off the last heroic push.  I bonked on the run today around the eighth mile.  I've been analyzing it and it could have been from a variety of factors.  It was surprisingly warm, for example (around 75 degrees with no clouds).  I ran in the heat of the day, too.  I had a massage from David at LA Body Mechanics the day prior.  I bike 55 miles (with 3,700-plus feet of climbing based on the Training Peaks info) and ran another 6.5 miles the day prior.  I swam two miles this morning, and biked another 25 with around 2,500 feet of climbing according to the Training Peaks data (though my watch suggested much less).

So,uh, yeah.  I guess there are some pretty good reasons for why I ran out of gas.  Still, I'm not used to that feeling after a year of training.  Essentially it's happened twice and I remember them both vividly.  And I would have preferred not running out of steam on my last "big" workout.  It's not so great for the psyche going into the taper period.  I wanted to raise my arms triumphantly at the end of my final push with the feeling like I had more in the tank.  I limped to the finish today, almost literally.

But, in the spirit of improvement, Stephanie did a fantastic job calming me down and helping me learn some lessons I can apply during Ironman.  Here are a few of them:

-- First and foremost, I need to ingest more than one Endurolyte per mile run.  I simply require more sodium per hour than the approximately 240mg I'd receive from what will likely be around six pills per hour.  I'm going to triple the pill count, especially in heat.

-- I need to keep in mind that there's only so much nutrition I can carry with me on the training runs, whereas on the Ironman marathon there will be food and drink every mile. I didn't hydrate enough today on the run.  Though I did during my swim and bike, I think.

-- I can't "chance it" when my heart rate starts to rise out of my desired running zones.  I steadily climbed from heart-rate zone 2 (where I was supposed to be for the entire two hours) by the first hour and had a hard time staying in the low-mid 150 bpm's for the remainder of the time. I finally compromised with myself that I'd walk if my heart rate rose to 160 bpm-plus.  But my speed dropped by almost a full minute per mile by the end of the run.  During the race, I'm going to need to monitor this more closely and either start more slowly or walk more often if need-be.  I'm not sure if I'll have the self-control to do that though. It's a race!  It's everything I worked for.  I really hope it doesn't come to that.

-- I need to avoid getting a massage without a full day to recover.  My legs feel rubbery and I lose what feels like the piston-like sensation of pedaling with power.  The muscular smoothness gained isn't worth the physical losses during the workout.  This week I'll be getting a massage the night going into my training off-day.  That should help.

-- I need to really think about what to put food-wise in my special needs bags.  It could be the difference between finishing strong and hobbling through a horrid run.

So, maybe I had to go through a tough workout weekend -- one that caught me by surprise since I think I expected the toughest training to be behind me -- to gain something more important for race day.  Something called experience.  Experience gained through fall-ure, as it were, and spending time in the proverbial hurt locker.

I suppose now, hours later, after an ice bath Steph prepared for me, a hot shower, some stretching and a nice Halloween candy-watching walk, I can say it was all worth it.  So, five hours later, I can raise those arms triumphantly.

I made it.

Let the taper begin.

21 days and counting.