In the spirit of Passover and my second Seder, here are what I consider to be the 10 Plagues of Triathlon. For those of you who don't know (which is totally OK), when Pharaoh in Egypt wouldn't let the Israelites go, G-d told Moses that 10 terrible plagues would haunt Egyptians until their leader decided to free the enslaved Jews. They included gruesome stuff like blood, frogs, gnats, boils, locusts, darkness and the slaying of the first-born Egyptians. Of course, this is where the term Passover comes from, since G-d also mentioned to the Israelites that they should sacrifice a lamb and spread the blood on their doorposts so G-d knew to "pass over" those homes when exacting the final plague.
Whether you believe this is up to you, obviously. I'm merely relating the story as it's been relayed to me for the past 36 years!
Anyway, if G-d were to do that to triathletes, here's what would surely test our will:
-- Flat tires
-- Gale-force headwinds
-- Frigid cold
-- Oil slicks
-- Texting car drivers
-- Bike thieves
And the 10th plague, the worst of all, would be...
Being unable to participate in this awesome sport.
What would your 10th plague be?
Happy Passover, or Easter!
64 days and counting.