Day five of not working out. I'm at home, while Fortius swim practice is occurring just down the street. Instead, I ate a full Cinco de Mayo meal alone in my kitchen, enjoying the silence like Depeche Mode.
There hasn't been much quiet in my life the past several months, and it's really my fault. I added the responsibility of writing for Lava Magazine Online onto my schedule while knowing I'd be training for a second Ironman, while knowing I'd be helping oversee the launch of two game titles this year, while helping my fiance finance and plan a wedding.
I'd ask, "What the hell was I thinking?!" but the answer is simple: I wasn't.
And so here we are. Recovering from what my doctor says is a trifecta of an upper respiratory/sinus infection and allergies. Tired physically and mentally. Wanting to work out again, but not really having the energy or the willpower to clip into my trainer bike literally five feet away from me.
I'm sure you've had that feeling before too.
So I turned on the TV instead, something I've done a lot of the past couple days. Something I haven't done with regularity in many months. I've caught up on some garbage movies, including Green Zone and Rambo III.
And then I saw Dead Poets Society playing on HBO.
This movie came out either right when I was a senior in high school or early in my college days. I knew it was brilliant then and yet I think it's even better now, as I'm older and can appreciate youthful exhuberence from a different perspective. I got choked up several times as I remembered the kid I was when first seeing Robin Williams preach "Carpe Diem!". I think what got to me was the realization that I've forgotten my own Carpe Diem from time to time -- and I've certainly lost track of my YAWP lately.
It's easy to get caught up in routine. Wake up. Work out. Eat. Shower. Work. Work out again. Eat. Work. Home. Quality time with fiance. Stretch. Bed. Repeat. But WHY do we do it all? WHAT are we seizing here? HOW are we seizing the day?
I must say I've enjoyed the quiet and lack of workouts the past few days. I wouldn't have taken the days off had it not been for being sick. But being on my ass a lot has forced me to slow down and reflect. My motor was running too high, something one can only realize after it's been forcefully shut off by someone or something else.
Maybe I hadn't forgotten about Carpe Diem, but have been trying to Carpe Diem too much?
At the same time, I know this is the final push, the final 50-something days until Ironman Coeur d'Alene. The final month until E3 (the Super Bowl of video games shows). The final few weeks before our wedding website launches, invitations go out, caterers get paid and bachelor parties get planned.
It's all coming to a head soon. I can either run from it or take it head on. Either way, all these things are going to happen anyway, so there's only one answer.
Carpe Diem. Time to get back into the pit once more.
52 days and counting.
PS: For those who encouraged me to try Newtons and take the Newton Challenge, I finally got around to writing down my thoughts for Lava Magazine. The article is live as of today, so please take a peek. Thanks for your encouragement and support throughout that process. I never would have even tried if it wasn't for you.