Something happened after Wildflower Long Course that I've been meaning to mention but it's been swept up (along with my energy level) with getting sick. When I came home from the race late Saturday night/Sunday morning, I was exhausted and dejected. I went into my bathroom to wash for bed and noticed my purple Post-It note in the mirror: "Break 12:00:00 at Coeur d'Alene."
We had a staring contest, the note and I. The note won. In that moment, my goal seemed farther away than ever. Crushed, I removed the sticker and tossed it into the garbage. Lights out. Time for bed. We'll find a new goal in the morning. How about just finishing without being wrecked with muscle spasms in my legs? Seems reasonable to me.
When I finally woke up later Sunday morning, around 11, I stumbled out of bed and wandered into the bathroom. There, on the mirror, in the center, lay the purple Post-It.
I'm pretty sure it didn't sprout legs and climb up on its own. Though I was so punchy I would have believed it if sold hard enough on the story. Stephanie had seen the note lying at the bottom of the can.
I had stopped believing in my own capabilities, especially not seeing any real performance improvement since last November. She hasn't stopped believing.
I can't describe how important that is to me. Right now, with honestly little left in the tank physically and motivationally, her faith is mostly all I have left to hold onto.
May we all be so blessed to have support like that, to help pull us out of the proverbial can when we need it most. As a result, I got on the trainer bike last night before bed, just to spin the legs out. Forty-five minutes of easy riding, enough to break a sweat while not straining my breathing or re-start that pesky sinus headache. Tonight, it's swimming on the way home from work. One workout at a time. One day at a time.
I'm not going to say that breaking 12 hours at CDA is possible at this point. But I still like looking at the note on the mirror, convincing myself that perhaps it's still within reach. Just maybe.
Someone else in the household definitely thinks it is.
51 days and counting.