Sure, Why Not?

Chalk one up to timing. Tomorrow, I've got a two-hour run scheduled on rolling hills.  I'm supposed to stay within heart-rate zones 1-3.

Guess what?  It just so happens the Palos Verdes Half Marathon is tomorrow! Rolling hills and all.  So, is this going to be a good idea,or a bad one?  I'll let you know tomorrow at around mile 10!

The timing seems to be working in my favor though.  I didn't train much yesterday since I didn't swim and I had run two days in a row prior.  Today was my off-day.  An unintentional taper, but a taper nonetheless.

On the other hand, am I weak from being sick and missing six hours of combined training last week?  I honestly don't know. I have trained seven hours this week so far, illness and largely fatigue free.  I feel fresh, strong and eager to run tomorrow, so I suppose that's a good sign.

The real challenge is going to be holding back at the event.  But I'm going to treat it as an Ironman training run, meaning that despite the adrenaline I need to figure out how to hold back and pace myself even when I feel particularly strong.  This is not a strength of mine.  But it needs to become one.  More important, I have a LONG training day on Sunday featuring a 6.5-hour brick AND an hour swim before that.

In other words, I'm doing a mini-Ironman on Sunday.

If that doesn't force me to pace myself tomorrow, I don't know what will.  But ya know what?  This is what it's all about -- challenging yourself constantly.  Surprising yourself, and your body.  For better or worse, I'm going to put myself out there tomorrow, on a tough course I haven't experienced before, and try to enjoy the journey.

Why not, right?

Race report tomorrow night.

44 days and counting.

Sea Change

In the workplace, fancy business magazines and consultants call it a "sea change" when something profound occurs to shift not just a business, but an industry or a movement. I feel like I experienced something similar to a sea change ironically in the pool tonight. Maybe it's merely an epiphany but I realized that instead of lamenting all the training and counting the days until "the end" (IM Coeur d' Alene), I need to really savor these moments while I can. Truth is, "the end" is nearer than I'd care to admit -- and that will be the real end of my racing and serious training for 2011.  In June.  Just two months away.

Whereas not having a set schedule sounded so appealing, now I realize it also means the absence of something special.  A bond with teammates. A common goal.  The chance to put myself to the test.

In other words, a void.

In two months, I'll be putting it all on the line for my second Ironman within a calendar year.  And then, that's it.  No race goals.  No training goals other than what I choose for myself.

I'm excited for the free time and of course the biggest day of all -- my wedding.  But instead of just getting through each day of training, I'm going to try harder to take it all in and enjoy each workout for what it is -- a pronouncement that I have big goals and am achieving them.  None of this comes easy, but the knowledge that I've vowed to do something for myself and am actually seeing it through is something I'm proud of.  And, none of this is guaranteed.  I could get hurt tomorrow and my break would start a lot sooner than I wanted.

So, here's to being grateful for every workout.  Here's to savoring an accomplishment.  Here's to enjoying the stretch run, and this Saturday's race.

Maybe that's why my water bottle quote for Wildflower will be "Peace Within."

Now THAT is a sea change for me.

61 days and counting.

Why I Almost Signed Up for IM St. George: Part 2

Upon entering VNSO pool yesterday morning for my 3,200 yard swim, I saw the following sign posted near the dressing room door: "Pool to be closed for maintenance for 3 WEEKS starting May 31."

I had to do a triple-take.  No, this can't be happening!  Seriously?  The final three weeks of IM Coeur d'Alene training?  When I'm in the pool for repeated 4,000-yard workouts and then running off to work, then more long-distance training after work?

Yes, there are other pools in the area.  But none are quite as convenient as VNSO, which is literally 5 minutes from my condo.  I can roll out of bed, put on my swimsuit, grab a banana to eat quickly, fill my water bottle and within 15 minutes I'm swimming laps.  It's fast, and most important, conveniently on my way to work.

Now, I'll need to head the opposite direction, to Calabasas, to fit in my morning swims.  Then, I'll need to fight traffic to get to work on time.  It's a hassle, and really the last thing I need or want at this point in my training.  Worse, I'm not sure what Coach Gerardo is going to do about coached swim workouts in the evening or mornings as those require permits.  Is it really worth the effort to secure those for three weeks?

This led me yesterday to make up my mind that I was going to go for Ironman St. George.  I'm sick of scheduling my life around training!  So the best way around that is to A) be done as quick as possible and take a longer break and B) IM St. G is on May 7, so the pool being closed May 31-June 24 won't really matter to me.

My mind was further made up after I spent time talking with Mark Allen, widely considered one of if not THE greatest triathlete of all time.  I'm interviewing Mark for my next "Mind Games" column with Lava Magazine Online.  I couldn't resist asking him about my "dilemma" at the end of our interview.  His advice? Why not do BOTH St. George and IM CDA?

My heart says YES!  My body says NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Marks' feeling was that you should race at the races you want to race at.  If St. George is calling to me, which it is and will continue to, then I should do it.

Then, after a second Passover seder last night, I talked with Stephanie about it.

She thinks I likely won't be physically able to complete IM CDA if I do St. George, and if I don't do CDA then I've wasted a huge amount of money.  This is true.  And the race is largely non-refundable ($150 return for $575 registration, no thanks!).  So, in pragmatic terms, I'd be spending close to an extra $1,000 just to satisfy a deep primal urge to be an Ultimate Badass(TM).  And, if I tried to do CDA, I'd still need to find a friggin' pool for those three weeks!!!

So, after having some real sense talked into me, I'm back to my original plan.  I'm going for IM CDA, with all my might.

I really want to try St. George.  If I was made of money right now, didn't have two games shipping this fall, wasn't planning for a wedding and honeymoon or writing for Lava, I just might do it.

Instead, I'll think about St. George for next year, depending on the state of my mind, body and spirit. I know I've said CDA will be my last full-distance Ironman, but St. George is only six hours away!  It's so close, whispering to me.

If only Coeur d'Alene was whispering to me as loudly.  I think I need to work on that.  The Wildflower long-course next Saturday will help.

62 days and counting.

No Workout Monday

I'm not really sure why Coach Gerardo gave me a day off from training today.  Oh yeah, the monster ride on Saturday!  Well, I didn't have any time to compile my video blog yet so stay tuned for that.  Instead, my free time this morning was spent at the doctor's office for the annual physical and drawing of blood.  Whee!  My favorite. Physically, I feel fine today.  I could have worked out, same as yesterday,when I swam a hard 1,800 yards in 30 minutes and a light 45-minute run immediately following.  Shockingly, I could have kept going, which is very encouraging for Ironman training.  So much so that I started to flirt with the idea of forgoing Ironman Coeur d'Alene and tackling St. George instead.  But that just might be a bit too crazy given my already hectic schedule.  Then again, if I complete IM StG in early May, I'm essentially done with tri-racing for the year and can focus more on work, wedding, having a life, etc.  It's a tempting offer, but perhaps I'm underestimating the difficulty of the St. George course.  Further, I had a very hard time staying warm during the coldest portion of the Mulholland Challenge bike ride, shivering uncontrollably for minutes at the base of PCH upon leaving the chilly mountains.  St. George is supposed to be similarly cold, especially in the water.  Can I hack it?

I kind of want to find out.  Then again though, if I stay on my plan toward CDA, I can take the experience and strength I gained from this weekend and apply it towards a better result.  It's a great conundrum to face.

But the best conundrum of all is enjoying a rare Monday off-day.  What to do with the extra time?  Unfortunately, it was spent in a doctor's office, having a dull needle shoved in my arm.  Come to think of it, that's not too dissimilar from a hard day of training.

Both leave you feeling a bit woozy and needing sugar afterwards.

71 days and counting.

Coeur d'Alene Race Strategy Lesson

What a busy day.  First, the hot water was knocked out in our condo so that killed any chance of a morning workout.  (Sorry, I may do 12 hours of physical pain and mental anguish, but cold showers and I don't get along.)  Then, from there I've been non-stop in meetings, impromptu meetings and more meetings until around 7 tonight.  I've just finished dinner at home and am waiting around 20 minutes to get on the bike to spin for an hour, moving my strength session to Wednesday because I just can't fit it all in today. Fortunately, one of my meetings was an interview for my next Lava Magazine column.  I connected with Andy Potts, Ironman winner and 2004 Olympian. Andy has been tough to pin down for the past week so I jumped at the chance to talk. While I won't disclose what I'm writing about for April's Lava piece, we did get to the subject of race strategy at Ironman Coeur d'Alene during the final few minutes of our call.  That, I can share here.

Andy won Ironman Coeur d'Alene last year in a time of 8:24:40.  So I asked him what tips he might have for me and others who read my blog.  Andy advised me to use the course to my advantage, explaining that it's two laps on the swim, bike and run. He broke the race up into two parts for each leg, racing each lap like a half Ironman.  "Any tricks you can play with your mind to help overcome the obstacle (of an Ironman) really goes a long way," Andy said.  He added that the course is nice but challenging, a little hilly. Fortunately the crowd gets behind everyone, especially as racers enter the heart of town.

I may not have been able to train much today, but I feel like I got a great lesson in race strategy nonetheless.  I'll keep that in mind as I prepare for IM CDA, though don't worry, Coach Gerardo, I'll stick to our plan (for the most part!).

Now, time to cram in an hour of spinning.  Wish me luck.

92 days and counting.

Answering the Call

I heard the bell tonight in my head.  Round 1: Fight! Really, it's round 12 of a 15 round slugfest.  The prize is my second Ironman.  As far as I'm concerned, Ironman CDA training "officially" began today.  It began in the pool, when in the final 100 of the night, two swimmers I had swam as fast as in speed drills all evening passed me in our time trial.  That made me think of my friend Chris, who the other night told me his only goal at IM CDA is to beat my IMAZ time, "a little friendly competition" he told me.

My friends are gunning for me.  They're training to beat their best aspirational times, and me in the process.

There is no more room for moping, or bitching.  Now is the time to work.

Coach Gerardo reminded me of that tonight when he said it's time to stop taking Sundays off.  Wildflower is essentially six weeks away. I haven't done enough brick workouts.  My conditioning is good but not great.

Like the Lakers, if there's some magical "switch" that I can turn on, now is the time to flip it.  Now is the time to drop the negativity.  Now is the time to put on the proverbial hard hat and go to work.  To answer the call.  Perhaps my three-day slide isn't unlike the Lakers' pre-All-Star skid where they lost to fairly miserable teams Charlotte and Cleveland.  Perhaps the champs were looking for motivation, and found it after taking some time to rest and recover.

That's how I'm feeling right now.  Re-focused, if not re-energized. I'm still working on that latter part, but I can sense the urgency in Wildflower approaching. I've honestly overlooked it, with nearly all my focus placed on IM CDA.

And today, Wildflower and IM CDA training officially began.  In the pool, losing badly to my buddies.

But to my friends who think they're beating me in Coeur d'Alene this year, I will say this:  Step your game up.  I'll be waiting.

Switch = flipped.

96 days and counting.

Mind and Body Re-Unite!

It took me two days, but I think my head finally made it home from Texas, along with the rest of my body.  But it cost me a day of work to do it.  I stayed home today as I was utter trash when I awoke this morning. In fact, I slept straight through 10:15 a.m. and could have kept sleeping had it not been for the massive rumbling in my stomach.  After all, I dropped three pounds of water weight overnight!  I went to sleep at 137 pounds and awoke at 134.  No joke. Most of my day was spent in a hazy, exhausted fog. All I wanted to do was sleep. I felt like Ryan in Wonderland. Up was down, right was left.  I just didn't feel like my normal self.  Lethargic, to say the least.  And, for the third day in a row, I didn't train.  I just couldn't do it.  No energy.  No desire.

Tonight though, I had to drop my monthly coaching fee check off to Coach Gerardo. Normally, I'd give it to him right before jumping in the water for my Tuesday swim.  Instead, I was observing the team from above the deck.  At first, I was afraid that I had ZERO desire to be in the water with them.  But, in talking with Gerardo, he said what I was going through is normal -- especially for someone training for his second Ironman within a year.  "This is why I told you not to do two Ironmans in one year!" he said.

Hindsight is a bitch.

Gerardo added that I haven't lost any speed or fitness in the past couple days and to simply reset mentally.  Don't dwell on the lost workouts, or trying to make them up.  They're gone.  And it's not a big deal.  Focus on the workouts at hand.  Start from zero mentally.

I can do that.

By the time I was done chatting with Gerardo, I was smiling and starting to feel like my old self again.  By the time I got home, I was listening to the Rocky soundtrack, "Going the Distance," and ready to jump back into the ring again.

Tonight was one of those moments where having a coach really paid off.  Yes, it may cost a lot less to train on your own.  But when you run into mental obstacles like the one I faced the past few days, it's invaluable to have someone you trust tell you it's gonna be OK and adjust your workout schedule accordingly.

Thanks Coach.  I needed that.

Back on the bike tomorrow.  I'm back.

Let's do this!

98 days and counting.

Falling Off the Fitness Wagon

(Note: Photos will be added tomorrow. I'm still on a plane on the way back from Austin!) I fell off the fitness wagon this weekend.  This doesn’t happen often, but when it does, my demise is rather spectacular.  In this case it meant lots of Texas barbecue (Salt Lick OMG!), lots of Amy’s ice cream (Oreo Speedwagon!), Shiner Bock beer (among my favorites!) and good wine.  It also meant very little training, to the tune of one hour, 15 minutes over the entire weekend.  The odd part is, my travel-driven fitness blunders usually happen when I have everything planned in advance.  Pool to swim in at hotel confirmed in advance.  Fitness center with all the good equipment confirmed in advance.  Gear packed.  Cycling class scheduled, shorts packed.  Even my Garmin watch was charged.

But my intentions were outweighed by reality.  Standing on my feet for hours on end at events and the show floor, being “on” for press and fans of our games, simply wreaks havoc on my back and legs.  I can run all day but can’t stand still!  I’d rather run 15 miles and be sore than deal with the stiffness of waking up after hours standing in one place.  Combine that with being in Austin for the annual music, film and games festival, South by Southwest, and combine that with daylight savings time…and boom goes the training dynamite.

What the heck was I thinking to even try fitting training in this weekend???

Now I know what is meant by the term “Triathlete Zombies.”  We don’t think practically sometimes.  We just have tunnel vision to find a way to complete the next workout.  Stay on schedule, at all costs. Even at the coolest gathering of live, authentic entertainment and kick-ass food in the country.  Meanwhile, life marches on, by and through our somewhat self-absorbed plans.

I should have known it was going to be a long weekend from the very beginning.

I had booked a bike at Mellow Johnny’s (Lance Armstrong’s cycling shop) in their Pedal Hard Training Center, where I was supposed to preview the Ironman Coeur d’Alene course via CompuTrainer.  There was only one problem – Mellow Johnny’s forgot to reserve a bike for me.  My original plan was to cycle for two hours, maybe more, run back to the hotel a few blocks away and then head to the show floor to report for duty.  That blew up in smoke, and in fact Pedal Hard training master Chrissie had to apologetically send me back to the hotel.  I was devastated, like going to the toy store and being told you brought a dollar too little to pay for that favorite action figure you’ve coveted all year.

But then, Cycling Karma smiled.

I had chatted casually with a few of the cyclists using the CompuTrainer equipment on their own bikes as they prepared for their workouts.  Two of them, Casey and an unknown but very kind cyclist on a sweet Felt/SRAM roadie, heard about my plight from Chrissie after I had left.  They both offered to let me borrow their bike for an hour.  So, as I was talking to Steph back at the hotel, dejectedly preparing to swim, Chrissie texted me back and told me to hurry on to the shop again.

That was probably my fastest mile all week!

Chrissie single-handedly saved my morning.  I was so grumpy and dejected at first that I was afraid it would affect my performance at the panel I was leading later in the day.  Missing workouts through no fault of mine is the worst!  But Chrissie doted over me for the hour at Pedal Hard, devising an intervals workout for me, instructing me carefully on how to balance my cadence, and gently urging me to, well, pedal hard, when it counted.  By the end I was spent.  She also advised me to look into a 25/27 cassette for the hilly Coeur d’Alene course as it might save my legs on the run.  Further, she had completed Ironman Coeur d’Alene and gave me all sorts of great advice on how to handle the bigger hills at roughly miles 18 and 72 (“just keep spinning,”)

I was preparing to pay for my session when Chrissie said it was on the house, for the “inconvenience.”  I told her it all worked out fine and I was more than satisfied but she insisted my workout was free.

My faith in all things Cycling Karma had been restored, Mellow Johnny’s remains the Mecca it had always been, and I can’t wait to plan my next trip there.

Thank you, Chrissie.  Thank you, Lance.

That would be the last bit of training I’d do the entire weekend.  An entire day of booth duty, a panel, press interviews and a dinner that lasted until midnight (at Driskills, DO recommend!) crushed me Sunday morning. I simply couldn’t get out of bed.  I knew it was a combination of daylight savings time, fatigue and really the heart of the matter, a quiet room with no Bam-Bam upstairs banging on the ceiling, no snoring next to me (sorry honey!), and the quiet hum of the air conditioning set at the temperature I love.  And the room was dark.  The trifecta was complete, Quiet, Dark, and Cold.  The perfect sleep cave.

Ain’t.  Gonna.  Move!

I’m torn about ditching my weekend training.  On one hand, I know I needed the rest.  I worked hard this week and through the weekend, on top of all the recent business travel.  I know the incremental gains made by training through the fatigue could have worn me down enough to be susceptible to illness considering all the dirty hands I shook (I set a world record for hand sanitizer used in a six-hour period), sweaty console controllers I held, and how much air travel I’ve done the past several weeks.  I feel like rest now will pay larger dividends later than trying to be a tri-zombie and cram in one or two more mindless workouts just because they’re on the schedule.  I also know that I’m not quite in the final critical three months stage just yet, and if ever there was a time to relax a bit, eat a bit more, enjoy a city I love just a bit longer and have a bit more fun, this was the moment. I just wished I had come to terms with that sooner, as in Saturday night when the streets were bustling with activity, rather than Sunday morning alone in my hotel room staring at my suitcase with the goggles and swim cap inside.

Will training a grand total of seven hours this week hurt me at Coeur d’Alene?  Maybe. How much?  I have no idea.  Do I care?  Kinda.  But right now I don’t regret it.  I made the choice.  I did what I had to do to listen to my body and my brain.  My heart didn’t object.  Everything said, “take it easy.”

Whether that’s experience or laziness talking, I’m not so sure yet. Though I can tell you that I’m ready to attack training as best I can in the coming days.  Maybe it’s guilty nervous energy.  However, I may ease back into it just a bit so it’s not such a shock to the system.  I’ve been in this place before, trying to overtrain to compensate for lack of activity (and stretching).  That’s how problems really start.

So while I’m eager to train hard, I know it can’t come all at once.  I’ll have to train smarter.

Maybe my Tri-Zombie days are finished.  Maybe I’m getting a little wiser, a little more relaxed  and gaining better perspective about this crazy sport.

Or maybe it’s time to just have a little more fun when I go on these trips.

Maybe falling off the wagon is a good thing.  After all, once you fall, you have to stop, dust yourself off, and take a look around before getting back on again.

100 days and counting.  Bye-bye triple-digits.

Dark Abyss Up Ahead

Another quickie post.  I'm in the pitch black of my bedroom before conking out for the night.  My laptop power is down to next to nothing. Sort of like me at the moment. My coach told me we're going to ramp up the training in the next few weeks.  I'm wondering where that extra time is going to come from.  I like my schedule the way it is at the moment, to be honest.  It fits in my life for the most part.  During the week it's, get up, train, go to work, train some more, come home, spend time with Steph, blog, prepare bag for next day, go to bed.  Rinse, wash (get the chlorine out), repeat.

I'm sure I'll find a way to fit more training in.  I know I'm close to the final three months of IM training, the dreaded time where every workout matters, can't be skipped, and the days just get longer and harder.  Fortunately, this weekend will be my last business trip (South by Southwest in Austin) until Ironman Coeur d'Alene.

Before I head back into the dark abyss of full IM training, I emailed Gerardo tonight to ask him how I'm doing.  I want a progress report.  Is my breaking 12:00:00 goal at IM CDA still realistic, with an extended recovery period from IMAZ?  Am I improving?  I know the answer is yes in the pool, but what about on the bike?  On the run, am I getting my strength back?  Stamina?

Why is all this important? I'm not really sure. I guess I want to know -- need to know -- how to motivate myself in the coming months.  What am I shooting towards?  What can I achieve?  What's in my way?  What can I change, and what's just gonna be the way it is no matter what?

I'll be honest (when am I not here!?), I'm not really looking forward to what's in front of me.  What's worse, the "evil" you know or the evil you don't know?  In this case, I know the hard work hasn't even started, and yet I feel like my time is maxed out in my current training and life schedule.  And I'm not complaining about that at all. I like spending my Sundays with Steph! I'd like to spend more time with her, my friends and the rest of my family.  But soon, for one last time before I take a long break, it's time to enter the dark abyss of full Ironman training.  Coming up next, sacrifice, soreness, and stress.

I hope I get through injury and illness free.  And of course, having my sanity intact at the end would be a bonus.

105 days and counting.

Peeling Away the Past

I could write about my three workouts today -- morning run, lunchtime yoga or evening swim. The latter pushed me to the brink of nausea following some Indian-spiced lentil soup that repeated on me towards the end of one of the more grueling workouts I can remember. Instead, I'm going to focus briefly on doing something small that probably says so much more.

Finally, after three months (almost to the day), I removed my Ironman Arizona bib number sticker from my Cervelo.  I was re-affixing my cleaned Speedfill bottle to the bike when I stared at the sticker and simply realized, "it's time."

I don't need the physical keepsakes to remind me of the accomplishment.  And there's so much more to look forward to, like more breakthroughs in training and my upcoming races at Wildflower and Ironman Coeur d'Alene.  Perhaps the only way to truly reach forward is to let go of what's behind.

I did that tonight, without fanfare (well, outside of a blog post!). Perhaps it's truly the final step in what has been a much longer recovery from an Ironman than I ever honestly expected. It's been far more of a physical and emotional roller coaster than even the original training itself.  At least with Ironman training it was consistent and I had a real idea of what to expect.  Even though Coach Gerardo told me that everyone recovers differently from an Ironman, I suppose I just had to experience it for myself.

But I think, with a long pause and some hesitation in my inner voice, I can close the chapter on the 2010 race season once and for all.  I truly can live in the here and now.

So while it seems like it's just a sticker, to me it's something bigger.

I've finally peeled away the past.

119 days and counting.