Peeling Away the Past

I could write about my three workouts today -- morning run, lunchtime yoga or evening swim. The latter pushed me to the brink of nausea following some Indian-spiced lentil soup that repeated on me towards the end of one of the more grueling workouts I can remember. Instead, I'm going to focus briefly on doing something small that probably says so much more.

Finally, after three months (almost to the day), I removed my Ironman Arizona bib number sticker from my Cervelo.  I was re-affixing my cleaned Speedfill bottle to the bike when I stared at the sticker and simply realized, "it's time."

I don't need the physical keepsakes to remind me of the accomplishment.  And there's so much more to look forward to, like more breakthroughs in training and my upcoming races at Wildflower and Ironman Coeur d'Alene.  Perhaps the only way to truly reach forward is to let go of what's behind.

I did that tonight, without fanfare (well, outside of a blog post!). Perhaps it's truly the final step in what has been a much longer recovery from an Ironman than I ever honestly expected. It's been far more of a physical and emotional roller coaster than even the original training itself.  At least with Ironman training it was consistent and I had a real idea of what to expect.  Even though Coach Gerardo told me that everyone recovers differently from an Ironman, I suppose I just had to experience it for myself.

But I think, with a long pause and some hesitation in my inner voice, I can close the chapter on the 2010 race season once and for all.  I truly can live in the here and now.

So while it seems like it's just a sticker, to me it's something bigger.

I've finally peeled away the past.

119 days and counting.

Getting Better, All the Time

As I sit here writing my blog entry, I'm thinking of the classic song with the lyrics, "I've got to believe it's getting better, it's getting better...all the time." That's how I feel after my long bike ride on a sunny but chilly President's Day holiday.

Frank and I rode just shy of 64 miles and climbed roughly 3,700 feet over nearly four hours.  I'm excited to report that my ride included a successful 20 minute time trial in Simi Valley towards the beginning of the ride, with my average mph at 21.78 mph.  Granted, that's with a 1% downhilll most of the way, but there were uphills and a cross-wind, so I think it evens out a bit.

My reward was a brief visit at my dad's auto shop, where my mom promised me I wouldn't upload this photo.  Whoops!

While I pushed it on the bike for most of the remaining 50 miles, I still was able to run a few miles in zone 2 with my Newtons.  It was my third time out with them, and while I'll save the details for my actual Lava Magazine Online review, so far I like what I'm feeling.  Don't worry though, I'm taking every precaution to go slow for my first few runs.

Perhaps my favorite part of the ride is witnessing another strong effort from Frank. He's clearly regaining his power and stamina, which helped mold me into a better cyclist early in my training days.  Frank challenged me hard up Santa Susana Pass and through the first 45 miles of the ride.  I know we're not supposed to be competitive with our buddies, but for whatever reason, Frank forces me to bring out the best in my riding.  I can't help it.

I like where I'm at in my training now.  Like I've indicated recently, I can finally see strength and stamina gains.  Though I hate to jinx it -- the past several minutes have included an elevated body temperature and hotness behind the eye sockets.  Steph is sick at the moment...I hope I wasn't in the peak form that Mark Cavendish wrote about in his book -- which often led to immediate illness.  Fingers crossed!

Now it's time for stretching and chores.  But I'll be humming a certain song in my head while I do them.

120 days and counting.

PS: Here's my Garmin data from today's ride.  The pace is slower b/c I tacked on about 20 minutes of running while still on the "bike" setting.  But this is really where I'm at in my training from an overall viewpoint. Gotta regulate the HR a bit more on the bike but otherwise I'm feeling good!

Weekend Wrap

Saturday, February 19: It never fails.  The less motivated I am to train but actually get out and do it, the more I surprise myself.  That happened not once but twice today, during a 1.5 hour trail run off the dirt Mulholland trail (where I was rewarded with this spectacular view of Santa Monica) and, more surprisingly, during my afternoon swim at rainy VNSO Park.

For the latter, I sat in my car while the sky poured down for 15 minutes.  I had no energy, no motivation, to leave that warm heated space.  I was still cold with dried sweat from my Under Armour compression pants.  Tired from eight straight days of training and business travel.  But, I had a contractor at my condo due to a leaky upstairs washer thanks to my lovely neighbor, Trudy.  So, I couldn't go home and enjoy a restful afternoon with all the clanging and banging.  What was left to do?

It took me about 20 minutes to find my happy place in the water. The rain had subsided.  The sky opened up with a few rays of sunshine.  My attitude changed.  I was going to make the best of this.

And ya know what?  In the last of my timed 15:00 time trials, I was on track to PR my 1,000 TT.  By 27 seconds!

I think this is the biggest mystery of training:  Why do I perform better when I least expect it?

I'm not even sure it's a mystery worth solving. The result is what matters.  And it all starts with the initial effort of getting out of the car and into the pool on a rainy Saturday.

Sunday, February 20: A day off.  A much needed day of rest and recovery.

At first, I really didn't like the idea of switching my off days to Sunday.  I felt like I was going to lose out on precious long training hours to help me bounce back into shape.  But I was losing much more -- a sense of closeness with Steph brought about by a lack of perspective on free time.

While I will resume Sunday training in my final three months of Ironman training, I am a new man when I hit the road now on Mondays.  It's a welcome change.  I feel like I have a weekend again, as odd as it may seem.  Training for an Ironman can often feel like a job even though it's what we do for fun on a weekend. Now, with some true Sunday fun day back in the mix, my perspective has been restored.

Today, my parents, Steph and I took a day trip up to Los Olivos to visit the key sites for our upcoming August wedding.  I don't want to spoil any surprises, but we are going to have a memorable weekend.  I can finally picture the flow of events and am officially excited for the big day.  Steph and my mom came up with some ideas that I think will cause our wedding to be truly unforgettable.

Fortunately, my parents loved the wedding venue, Firestone Vineyards.  We took a tour of the winery today, where we learned more about how wine is made, stored and aged.  I also learned that wine should be stored at 55 degrees Farenheiht in a fridge, and that 90% of all red wine should be drank sooner rather than later.  In other words, all that you hear about storing wine for long periods doesn't hold true for most of the wine on today's market.

I wouldn't have learned these things had I not gotten off my bike and stripped myself of my workout clothes on a Sunday.

As important as tri-training is, family time is even more important.  Today was fantastic.

And now I'm looking even more forward to my 4.5 hours on the bike tomorrow, a President's Day treat.

121 days and counting.

New T-Pace

I have a new swimming T-pace.  It's eight seconds faster than the previous mark, 1:48/100 yards.  This has been confirmed after multiple sets of 500s at tonight's Fortius swim. My first indication of change in the water came during one of our early drills.  I was supposed to hit my T-pace in the third of five sets of 100 yards and go faster for the remaining two sets of 100s.  I started off way faster than anticipated, a brisk (for me) 1:37 without much effort.  Problem.  I was supposed to come in at 1:55, with the next set at 1:50. Problem again, as I "slowed" to 1:41.  Then 1:37, 1:33, 1:32.

This continued for the remaining two sets of 500.  More often than not, I came in at 1:40/100 with :20 rest, usually arriving closer to 1:37-1:39.

I suppose my real T-pace in the water in a non-stop 1,000 is still 1:48 as I'd imagine I'm slowing over the course of the TT.  But this still gives me hope of improvement on the horizon.  If I can maintain that 1:40 pace over longer distances, I'll really start saving some major time in events where I'm wearing a wetsuit.  And my swim times came after a fairly intense run early this morning at chilly Griffith Park.  I ran my first 7:30-ish mile pace in roughly six months.

My strength is coming back...nearly three months removed from Ironman Arizona.  I may have recovered physically a month ago, but I'm starting to see strength gains for the first time now.  Even my trainer, Shannan, indicated that "my nervous system is coming back online" based on the improvement in my coordination and agility in recent sessions.

Man, an Ironman sure takes a toll if I'm just starting to get my nervous system back in working athletic order now!

Anyway, it's really nice to see progress after being down in the dumps for so long.  If there's hope for me, there's hope for you too.  It just takes time.  And patience.  And a willingness to accept and trust the process of healing and rebuilding.

Not the easiest thing to do.

But certainly among the most worthwhile.

124 days and counting.

Decision is Made

I am not going to sign up for Oceanside 70.3.  And for the most part, I'm totally OK with that. I'm getting married in August.  Spending a premium now for a race I can enter next year at a fraction of the cost doesn't make cents.  I can't justify it.  Yes, I'll miss racing alongside Rusty and Bob and the rest of my Fortius teammates.  There's no doubt about that.  But, as Robyn pointed out in the comments from yesterday's post, I can do my own Half-Ironman that day and gain the same experience for free.

Free sounds mighty good right now.  And this thought process made me realize that it's not too soon to plan for the 2012 season.  As it currently stands, my goals are to get faster at the Olympic and Half distances anyway.  I think 2011 is my swan song for full-distance Ironman events as it takes too much time out of my life. I'll apply every year for Kona though.  That's one event I MUST do before I die.

I used to want to do St. George desperately -- to prove to the naysayers that I could handle the toughest of Ironman events.  But the truth is -- screw them.  An Ironman is an Ironman.  It's a helluva committment any way you look at it, no matter the elevation on the bike course or the weather that day.

Yes, I reserve the right to change my mind.  I'm fickle like that sometimes.  But for now, I think I'll take a longer, more strategic look to the future and set my sights on US Nationals for Olympic distance and maybe, just maybe one day, the same for the Half distance.  I know I can qualify already on the Olympic side.  So it's just a matter of doing it.

And now, deciding which races to make my mark.

Consider 2012 Oceanside 70.3 on the list.

Sometimes the best decisions we make are the ones where we don't do anything.  I think today was one of those days.  My training is working right now.  I'm getting stronger.  My swagger is coming back.  And my schedule is only going to get busier the next two months when Oceanside training would require a greater focus than what I might be able to offer.

Gotta be smart.  And I gotta remember that I have nothing to prove to anyone but myself.  Which also means listening to my inner self at critical moments.

Time to trust the process and stay the course towards Wildflower and Ironman Coeur d'Alene.

125 days and counting.

To Race or Not to Race...

That is the question. Coach Gerardo informed me today that there are some open Oceanside 70.3 slots through an adventure travel company.  I'm torn.  On one hand, I feel I'm just rounding into form again and love the idea that I've got plenty of time left to do so before Wildflower 70.3 this May.  There's no pressure on me, especially with my busy work, writing and general "life" schedule right now, to get ready for a race that's less than two months away.  Do I want to heap that upon myself?

Well, I am a glutton for punishment.

My friends Rusty (whom I cheered on at Vineman 140.6 last year) and Bob (Ironman Arizona fellow finisher) are both racing Oceanside -- Bob took one of the open slots today.  That's almost enough alone for me suit up a month earlier than planned.  However, here's the wrinkle.  Gerardo wants me to treat the race as a "C" event on my schedule -- meaning the pace should be far less than all-out.  But he also thinks I can break 5:30 there as well.  Keeping in mind that I did Vineman 70.3 in just a few minutes past 5:30 this past summer with a lot more intense training, I'm a bit skeptical.

Then again, I've repeatedly proven myself wrong when I doubt my training and all the hard work I've put in.

Finally, the last bit of the puzzle, is this: Am I capable of doing any Half-Ironman at anything less than my all-out best pace?  Especially with two of my friends by my side, not to mention my Fortius teammates? As my friend and teammate, Karen, pointed out at our coached swim workout tonight, I'm "one competitive little (guy)."  Honestly, I know I'm incapable of treating a Half-Ironman, especially one I pay a premium price to enter, as anything less than an A-level race.  This will be especially difficult given that I'll be attending South by Southwest Interactive as a panel participant the weekend I should be peaking for Oceanside training.

As I'm typing this, I can see the negatives outweighing the positive reasons I should race.

But that just makes me want to do it more!

Oh, what to do???

Has this ever happened to you?

What did you do?  What would you do?  To race, or not to race?

126 days and counting.

Love Fest

Today is all about love. Valentine's Day. It's where we show our partners how much they mean to us. As triathletes, that should elevate V-Day to an A-level race status. In other words, it's everything. They make our morning meals -- sometimes with little inspirational notes. They buy our groceries -- only the healthy ones. They defend our "habits" to friends and family who might not get it. They put up with our irritability before races, and race day itself. The waiting. And waiting. While waiting some more.

Such patience! Such understanding!

Such love.

I am convinced we're close to nothing without the support of our partners. I hope all of you did something special for your significant other today. And if you're on your own during this time, I hope you treated yourself to something special. We work hard for this lifestyle and to attain the results we desire. It takes discipline. But without some perspective -- we're doing this because we love ourselves on some level -- the hard work can be for naught. So go on, appreciate your badass self! You deserve it!

There's more than enough love to go around for everyone. Find someone who helps you be your best -- regardless in what way -- and thank them. Tell them how much they mean to you. You'll feel great when you do.

127 days and counting.

That's So Last Year

This year is like a small child, young and feisty, keeping me on my toes constantly.  Last year was like a senior citizen, consistent, and predictable (and there were even a few moments that required Depends). As a result, I've had to constantly balance and juggle priorities, which has meant skimping on the blog lately.  Two business trips, wedding planning and Ironman training will do that to a guy.  I thought about my failing juggling act while  in the recovery phase of my 73-mile bike ride with Frank today through the Conejo Valley.  Keep in mind the "recovery" was approximately half the ride after climbing 900 vertical feet in just under four miles.  As you'll see in the embedded Garmin workout report (which includes post-ride run data), I kinda overdid it with my heartrate, which skyrocketed to 178 bpm and left me blasting out primal yells to psyche myself up and keep from getting off the bike and walking.  The grade, according to Frank, was 23% at one point on the climb.

When I wasn't coaxing my legs not to cramp over the remaining few hours of the ride, I was analyzing my performance on this very hill compared to less than a year ago, when I recall scooting up like a gazelle and onward with my workout.  I was also reminded of "last year" by today's Firecracker 10k run in Chinatown, which I didn't attend.  Last year, it served as a pivotal moment in my training, the last big run before tapering for the LA Marathon.  This year, I would have been in no condition to run the race at all.

Which led me to an observation that hopefully may serve as a pithy reminder for all of us struggling with "last year":

Where you were isn't where you're at.

It seems so simple, but yet it was powerful enough for me to let go of "last year" on the spot.  I can't keep comparing myself to the past. I'm a different athlete.  With different priorities, different schedules, and a different life.

Though I slogged home mired in the small chain and managed to eke out a run at the goal zone 1 pace, I felt lighter.  I'm no longer bearing the burden of meeting unrealistic expectations for myself based on last year.  This season is already so much different anyway.  Surprisingly, it's actually more mental than physical.  Last year was all about "Can I?"  This year, it's about, "How will I?"  There's a big difference.  The first implies doubt or uncertainty about reaching the finish.  The second implies devising a new plan to reach an achievable goal. That's what it's all about now: goal planning.  Smarter, not harder.  Efficiency. Calmness.  Confidence.  Even when injury, inconvenience and illness rear their monstrous heads at the worst possible times.

So, the next time you worry about where you're at compared to where you were, stop.  It's a false comparison.  Where your'e at is where you're at.  Plain and simple.  The past won't make you faster. Or stronger.

But it can make us all wiser.

128 days and counting.

Smarter, not Harder

Before I get started, my latest Lava Magazine Online column is now live.  It's all about defining and overcoming the Off-Season Training Blues (OTSB).  Tried to have some fun with it.  Hope you enjoy, and if you do, please don't be shy about passing it around the internet!  Here's the link Onto today.  Yesterday, I mentioned I was going to cram some killer workouts in today before my Las Vegas business trip.  Well, in baseball terms I was 2-3.  I ran for an hour on the treadmill at my office complex gym, slogging through 5x3 minute hill repeats in HR zone 5b.  That left me absolutely drenched in sweat, not to mention the treadmill.  It also served as a great warmup for my personal strength training session with Shannan.  She led me through a battery of agility drills designed to improve strength and flexibility in my hips and glutes.

At the end of both workouts this morning, I could feel myself getting stronger.  I feel like I've turned a corner in my training.  Despite my current hectic schedule, I do believe the worst is over in my recovery period -- mentally and physically.  While my speed may not be what I'd like at the moment, my form is improving and my legs seem more resilient.  That is a great sign.

This form of progress also allowed me to be more pragmatic in my training approach for tonight's scheduled Fortius swim.  After a long day of meetings -- OK one meeting that lasted seven hours -- I realized I just didn't have much left in the tank for a grueling coached swim workout.  I spoke with Gerardo, and we both agreed I should postpone it until tomorrow, moving my cycling time trial to next week.

That's the thing about training for a second Ironman though.  It's not about training harder, as was the case in my first Ironman odyssey, it's about training smarter.  I find that with the limited time I have now, I'm listening to my body even more.  If I don't feel like training, I try to motivate and push myself to rally. But I can sense the difference between fatigue and exhaustion.  The former feels like laziness or a lack of enthusiasm to push myself. The latter feels like an inability to do so even if I wanted to.

That's how tonight felt. So, I came home, packed my bags for another trip, and hung out with my lady.

The night ended on another positive note.  My review Newtons finally arrived!  I've been looking forward to this day for weeks.  I'm going to try the Sir Isaacs stability line.  They're pictured here.  What I immediately noticed was the increased rubber on the sole in the forefoot area, along with the...ahem...bold peach/orange colors.  Whether it's from an awkward stride or the coloring of the shoes, people will see me rockin' my Newtons from near or far.  I'll be taking notes in the coming weeks and month and will share my impressions via Lava Magazine Online.  Of course, you'll be the first to know when the story hits.

Off to bed, and another crazy day draws to a close.

133 days and counting.

Pacing Myself

Normally, pacing in triathlon involves a discussion about racing and training properly so as to properly balance efficiency and output. Right now, a few days removed from a trip to London and a day removed from re-packing my bags for Las Vegas, pacing means something else entirely.  Right now, pacing means juggling work schedules while picking and choosing my spots carefully to train in between spending quality time with Steph, not to mention paying bills, catching up with friends and otherwise staying on top of life.

Boo-freakin' hoo, I know.  And I'm not complaining, to be honest.  I've written recently about how this year is so much different than last year in terms of Ironman training.  But I think I may be even more satisfied with crossing the finish line in Idaho this June as a result of how much harder I'm going to need to fight to get there.  Every little training opportunity I can scrounge is treasured.  I took it for granted last year, perhaps even had a false sense of entitlement.  This year, every hour or Saturday morning bike ride I can manage is appreciated.  I'm sure some of you feel the same way.

Tomorrow is one of those days.  I've got a full day of meetings and then the next day I'm in Vegas through Friday.  So, it's up at 6 a.m. for 7 a.m. running hill repeats at Griffith Park, followed by strength training with Shannan at 8:30 a.m. I've been missing the weights lately so I need to squeeze in a PT session while I can.  After my day of meetings, I'll jet over to the pool for a coached workout at 7:30 p.m. But that's my last swim until Sunday.  And my last strength training opportunity for the week as well.

Sometimes it's a feat of strength just to stay in shape amidst a hectic life.  It's easy to forget that.  But right now, I'm happy with being an Iron Juggler.

I'm just not sure how long it'll last.

Pacing.  I have to keep remembering that it applies to life and not just racing.

134 days and counting.