DABDA

Another day, another acronym.

A couple days ago, I wrote about something in a blog post called an OODA Loop (Observe, Orient, Decide, Act). It’s a military term and a teaching tool to help people act quickly and decisively in a moment of crisis.

At work today, I was reminded of a different acronym: DABDA.

This is short for Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.

As you might know, this is an acronym that summarizes a grieving process. First, we don’t believe what we’re hearing, reading or seeing. Then, we get angry about it. Next, we try to bargain away our grief (“Well, maybe if I do this…that might get better.”). Failing that, we become really depressed. That’s the “there’s no hope” stage. Ick. For my generation, think Jon Favreau at his worst in the film, Swingers. And finally, if we’re lucky…we accept our situation and only then can find peace and strength to move forward past the grief. Think of Jon Favreau in his best moment in that film, with Heather Graham.

I’m watching someone at work find their own path through DABDA. It’s painful at times, because I keep trying to help this person see a clear path towards easier breathing and true growth.

But I’m reminded that my path is not their path. And the real growth comes from discovering one’s own path.

How does that translate to triathlon, or any other endurance sport?

If we can’t drop that bad race from our memory, or that bad workout or training week…if we can’t distill the positive lessons from crisis for future growth, we’re destined to not fully enjoy our passion. Nor can we perform to our fullest potential when we’re mired in the past.

If you’re having a hard time in your training or racing, think about DABDA. Where are you in this grieving process? Be honest. What are you grieving to begin with?

What would happen if you shed your past like extra weight on your bike? How light might you feel?

If lighter = faster, why not give DABDA a try?

Critical Point

My dad participated in a podcast today and he did a terrific job staying on message. Further, the interviewer did a great job of asking good questions and steering the conversation.

That’s not to say my dad’s performance was perfect. There were a few things I’d like to have him change.

However, I also know he’s very happy with his performance.

Where is the fine line between coaching for greater performance and leaving a very solid performance alone — letting someone savor their victory?

I struggle with this all the time. I see Good Wolf athletes’ comments in their workouts, important details about how excellent they felt in a training session. Sometimes, I want to leave “well enough” alone — but I can’t.

My belief is that if an athlete executes a workout exactly to the specs I’ve suggested, or if they put in extra effort…they’re really investing some of their soul into that session. And their soul deserves my full perspective and appreciation no matter what.

Even if I have something to say that an athlete may not want to hear.

Especially when I have something to say that an athlete may not want to hear!

That’s why they’re hiring me, I think.

So yeah, dad, expect a call from me tomorrow. I can’t help myself.

But, it’s only because I saw you bare your soul and put yourself out there for public scrutiny today. And that deserves the best and most acute criticism I can offer.

Plan B

Tonight I read a race report that mentioned the need for having a “Plan B” in future races.

This got me thinking. Yes, it’s critical to have a back-up plan for when things don’t go according to plan. That’s not just for racing, but in our careers, or just throughout life really.

But when is it time to abandon Plan A?

How do we know when it’s time to switch from one plan to another?

When can Plan A be salvaged still? Is Plan A so pure in its preparation that if the slightest thing goes astray, we need to consider a Plan B?

Ideally, we can Observe, Orient, Decide, and Act (OODA Loop) after a quick situational triage.

Things I might ask myself as an athlete in the heat of a race OODA Loop prior to switching from Plan A to Plan B:

• Am I sick?

• Am I injured?

• Have weather conditions changed drastically? (Will they improve soon?)

• Am I cramping or bonking?

• How far into the race am I?

Then, the second-most important question:

• What can I do to return to Plan A in its original form? (The quintessential “What can I control?” question) This might include using a special needs bag in an Ironman, walking aid stations to consume more nutrition, remembering a mantra to help you through a tough moment, or something else.

But here’s the most important question:

• Do I want to return to Plan A?

You might expect me to write that you MUST get back to Plan A.

Not so.

It’s OK not to want to do that! For example, maybe your plan was too conservative and you decide to go for it, come what may. That’s OK.

Whatever you decide though, commit to the plan!

If you commit, you will focus on controlling the controllables. And when you stick to that plan, you might just surprise yourself.

Soon you see that Plan A nor Plan B really matter…it’s what you choose to commit to that does.

Gratitude

Tonight, Good Wolf had its first season-celebrating team barbecue.

It was our first non-racing team event. Heck, we’ve only had a few official team workouts.

What a special moment.

When I first embarked upon the Good Wolf adventure, I pursued it as a passion project. I didn’t expect it would blossom in the way we have so far.

Athletes proposed the idea for a barbecue themselves. Scott volunteered to host it. And so I cut a pre-planned trip to Arizona short so I could be there.

The team also proposed —OK, maybe demanded— that we create team kits for next season. And we’re doing that too (coming soon!).

Sometimes, we’re presented with the opportunity to be more than we thought possible. Whether it’s at work, or on the track, in the classroom, or at home even. Behind that opportunity, there lies someone, or in this case several people, who believes we can be more.

It’s up to us to read those signs even if they’re not overt. And more important, to do something about it.

Answer that call. Those moments can be scary. Will you fail? Possibly?

But you might succeed too! And when you do, it’s the best feeling in the world knowing that it’s partially because other people see something special in you that you may not yet see in yourself.

Many thanks to our blossoming Good Wolf family. I’m the definition of gratitude tonight.

New Normal

My eldest daughter, Audra, was a terrible infant and toddler sleeper.

Hold on, I’m still tripping out that I can write, “my eldest daughter.” Ayla is a mere six weeks old.

We’d be up with Audra every two hours for months on end, as I’ve written in the past. Somehow, I managed to train through it — most of the time.

There was a several-months gap after Ironman Arizona 2015 where I had to back out of being coached altogether. I just couldn’t get my head off the pillow. It as a frustrating and fairly miserable experience for me.

Fast forward to now. Ayla sleeps pretty well, but with two kids…it seem one of them is always up. As what happened the last two nights. Training has been difficult the last three days, and I’ve outright failed to rally. Work, family, life…it’s all been a blur.

Four years ago, I quit on myself and stopped training. Now, I simply realize that this is the “new normal” for the next several years. Some days are going to be easier than others to rally and train. Other days, well, I’ll just need to sleep.

The key for me this next year is going to be not quitting on the process or on myself. Some fitness is better than zero fitness going into a race.

It’s also a question of priorities. Four years ago, I can say my life priorities looked like this:

— Training/family/Audra/work (all in a 1-1-1-1 “equal” horizontal line)

This caused significant stress in my life and for those affected by my sleep-deprived moods!

My perspective has since changed. Like this morning, when I was interrupted writing this post to be there when Audra woke up from sleep. I’m just so happy to be the first thing my daughter sees when she wakes up. Nothing can replace that.

So, 2019-2020 is on point with this approach so far:

— Family (Steph/kids)

— Sleep! (walking around like a zombie all day is only OK on Halloween)

— Juggling Insomniac and Good Wolf Coaching

— Training/Racing (provided everything else is dialed in — “Win the Sunrise” within limits, in other words…NOT at all costs)

— Social life (need some form of exercise whenever I can get it to then be mentally present for a glass or two of wine — I like to feel like I earned it)

This is probably going to mean slower race results for me. But the balance resulting from better perspective and self-forgiveness will help me keep my sanity and be more present for my family than IMAZ 2015.

I’m not sure how or if my “new normal” will change into a “newer normal.” But in the meantime, it’s helping me better understand and manage the life around me.

Never Out

I’m watching the World Series while writing tonight.

Which kind of breaks my heart as a Dodgers lifelong fan.

But, I’ve grown to really appreciate (and even like?) the Washington Nationals. They play as a TEAM, they have fun together, they seem to like each other, and they never give up. In fact, the Nationals seem to shine the greater the moment.

That is so hard to do! I’ve placed a lot of pressure on myself as an athlete in the past, and the results have been mixed at best sometimes. I remember my muscles feeling tighter almost (or in the case of IM Wisconsin in 2017, literally tighter), or my breath would become more shallow. In fact, it’s fair to say the more physically prepared I was to race, the worse I did!

When I simply focused on performing my best and not worrying about “the moment,” the better I did.

What’s my point?

The next time you feel like the moment is becoming too big or even could become too big, or you’re becoming too tight…breathe.

Smile.

Think of a joke.

Think of what you can control in the moment.

And realize you are NEVER out of a race unless you give up on yourself.

This may not be wise to write, but I’ve felt pretty useless for most of today. Days of rough sleep have caught up with me. The result is this morning and into the early afternoon have been a struggle to maintain focus and sharpness.

I’m on my third cup of coffee. Lookout, world!

This is not unlike what it feels like when our fatigue is off the charts during an intense Ironman training block. The only difference is…I’m not in an intense Ironman training block!

What does that mean?

First, I have to wonder again how the hell I trained for an Ironman with an infant in 2015. What a stupid idea! I really don’t know how I held it all together. Maybe I didn’t hold it together, maybe I did…I don’t even remember most of that period.

Now, with more life experience, I’m being a bit more forgiving to myself. Yes, I’m trying to “win the sunrise” as I wrote about several days ago. Yes, I was up at 5 this morning, ready to train in the dark.

No, I’m not going to hit a second workout today.

Age and experience give me the benefit to realize that on some days, training through the fatigue is healthy (and necessary). That would often be what we do during an intense training build block.

But when it’s 11-plus months out from the race of your life, we can more easily skip a workout here or there for the greater good.

The trick is balancing the formation of good habits and routines with the feelings of burnout that may show themselves later in training — when we can ill-afford that mentality.

One viewpoint that has helped me as an athlete, and as a coach, is this: Sometimes we need to take a step back to take a step or even two steps forward.

I don’t typically advocate an off-day as a standard go-to for every athlete. But, when meted out properly and for the right reasons, off-days or canceled workouts can have a profoundly positive effect.

So it’s training “toes up” for me the rest of today. And I’ll be ready to attack the morning tomorrow with greater fervor.

Unless a fourth cup of coffee comes into play…

In which case…lookout, world!

Data as Dogma

It’s not happening often (yet), but I’m getting back into the two workouts a day mix for the first time in many months. I’ve paid more close attention to how my body is reacting, now that I use an Oura ring (thanks Steve!) to monitor heart rate variability (HRV), sleep quality, resting heart rate and more. For example, now that I’m training more often (on less sleep), my HRV has dropped by 10 points over the last week compared to where it’s been since late summer (upper 80s). I’m still in the upper 70s, where anything over 50 is considered rested and healthy for moderate to intense training.

What’s interesting to me though is the mindset of having the Oura data and how it affects me.

See, a 10 millisecond HRV drop could be viewed as significant. As in, “Wow, I’m really tired and I’m not sure whether I feel rested.” Or, one can view the same data as, “Wow, I’m still in great shape even though I’m ramping up my activity AND I have an infant keeping us up at night. Let’s keep going!”

That’s the danger with data. And the power of a Good Wolf mentality.

If you approach it as dogma, data can limit your ability.

If you use it as a data point, you may have a more well-rounded perspective.

Gut instinct, intuition and plain-old qualitative feedback are invaluable for this reason and others.

The next time you view your data and feel yourself making a rash judgment, breathe. Pause. Ask yourself, “Am I hoping the data is telling me something?” What is it?

Chances are, the numbers will validate whatever perception you may have felt, so proceed with caution AND an open mind.

Planning Your Race Season

It’s that time of the triathlon season where most people are wrapping up 2019 and looking ahead to 2020. Yes, Ironman Arizona, Ironman Florida and Ironman Cozumel loom large in the next few weeks. But it’s hard not to look ahead, especially when several popular IM-branded races sell out quickly.

I have a few Good Wolf athletes who are taking some time away from the sport for the next few weeks and vowing to return in January 2020. Others are trucking right on through.

Healing from injuries notwithstanding, the difference I see between the two athlete types are their goals. If athletes have a goal, it’s easier to build a roadmap to achieving them. Which helps an athlete maintain motivation during the holiday season.

That’s not to say it’s wrong not to have goals right now. I’ve been there, trust me! (Heck, I was there from this past July until very recently!) It’s just that triathlon is a hard-enough sport to begin with. If you aren’t ready to be specific with WHY you’re putting in all the work, then maintaining the discipline required to perform well in the sport gets that much harder.

Here’s a list of questions that may be useful as you determine your race season goals and priorities, as well as questions to help you pick the best triathlon for you to emphasize as a key race in 2020. I’ve been going through this checklist for a Good Wolf athlete and thought it would be helpful to share it.

This is not an exhaustive list. I’m sure you can come up with your own questions and answers. But it’s a start, and a start or spark is all we need sometimes to find the motivation that’s been missing.

General Questions

• Are you enjoying triathlon training? If not, why?

• Have you been injured recently, or are you nursing injuries right now?

• Did you battle illness frequently throughout the season? How was your diet and rest?

• What haven’t you yet accomplished that you want to? How realistic is that goal right now?

• How hard are you willing to work starting right now to achieve those goals in 2020? (There’s no wrong answer, just be honest with yourself.)

• What was successful for you in 2019? What could have been better? What can you personally own about what could have been better — to improve upon in 2020?

• What does your 2020 look like in terms of other commitments? Do your goals line up with your availability and willingness to achieve them?

Race Specific Questions

• Do you have any bucket list races on the horizon?

• Are you trying to quality for a spot at Age Group National Championships, IM 70.3 Worlds, or even Kona? Something else?

• How will your work and family or social life affect participating at those races?

• What else is causing you to hesitate before signing up for one of those (non-qualifying) races? (Again, no wrong answer, just be honest with yourself.)

• Do you have a busy season at work, or at home? How will that affect your training and racing?

• Do you race well in certain weather? And vice versa…is there certain weather that’s particularly bad for you? What about elevation changes?

• What are your triathlon racing strengths and limiters (swim/bike/run)?

• What are you able to commit to in 2020 to improve your limiters? How are you thinking about changing your training so as to change your results?

• Can you or do you want to build races into existing travel plans in 2020? When are those trips planned for?

Avoiding 'More'

I participated in a coffee ride this morning with some very strong and friendly cyclists. All but one of them were new friends, or friends of those friends. During the ride, conversation sometimes turned to coaching as we got to know each other, and my love for it.

Coaching any one of them would be a privilege. With that in mind, I noticed I was having a hard time balancing “being one of the guys” versus automatically assuming the posture of a coach to demonstrate my value. In my eyes, that coaching posture translates to automatically taking a leadership position within the group. Or riding from the proverbial front of the peloton and taking extended pulls — metaphorically speaking. In more literal terms, that’s someone who can speak with authority on all manners of triathlon training and racing.

Why? When people know you’re a coach, I imagine them putting an expectation on that anyways. Or maybe it’s my own expectation. Maybe it’s my own insecurity with wondering if someone I’ve just met thinks I’m worthy of being a coach.

At the same time, nobody likes a know-it-all. Certainly not me — because I emphatically do NOT know it all!

So how do you reconcile those two warring factions within?

This morning, I chose to (as best I could) rely upon how I would want to be treated by somebody I had just met who happened to be a coach. Or put another way, how would I want to be treated if someone whom I just met happened to be a car salesman and found out I was looking to buy a car in a month or two?

What a turn-off it would be, I thought, if I felt that car salesman I just met during a bike ride “smelled blood” and tried to sell me a car on the spot. After five minutes of chit-chat.

Yuck. That sale is never gonna happen.

Thinking on it more tonight, part of becoming comfortable with your identity is to just be yourself — even when a profound desire to be “more” tries to interfere.

Like overcooking the bike and fading on the run, that “more” early on can become far less later.